DEAR ABBY: It may seem unfair for a fourth-grade boy to be shunned by the boys in his new neighborhood, but I see another course of action for his mother to take that might provide a possible solution. At this child's age, it is important for his parents to become acquainted with his potential playmates and their parents. Why not suggest to the mother who wrote you that the newcomer PARENTS take the initiative and invite the neighbor boys to come to his home to play?
I am the mother of five (now grown) children, who are less than seven years apart in age. After school, playtime at our home (or elsewhere) had rules and limits for the children's safety and my sanity.
Shortly after moving to Texas, our youngest, "Betty," who was in the third grade, asked if she could accept an invitation to play at "Donna's" house. Donna didn't live in our immediate neighborhood and I didn't know her parents, so I suggested that Donna come to our home to play. I phoned her mother, who insisted that the girls play there. The invitations pingponged several times before both of us admitted that we were just cautious about unfamiliar households.
I don't remember who went to which house first, but Donna and Betty became good friends -- and my husband and I have enjoyed knowing Donna's family.
The mother of the new kid on the block is herself new on the block, and she should be willing (even eager) to become better acquainted with her neighbors. -- TEXAS GRANNY
DEAR TEXAS GRANNY: Thank you for sharing your experience with that young man's mother, as well as any other parent whose child is in the same situation. If the problem can be resolved as simply as this mother reaching out to other mothers in the neighborhood, I'm sure your letter will encourage her to do so.