To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Summertime Ice Cream Trucks Put Gardener in Frosty Humor
DEAR ABBY: I live in Seattle, which is famous for its beautiful environment, lovely gardens and quiet neighborhoods -- until summertime, that is. Then out come all the ice cream trucks with their loudspeakers playing obnoxious music over and over at high volume.
I used to look forward to the peaceful summer days when I could be outside and enjoy my garden, but now all I want to do is hide inside with a stack of pillows.
Noise pollution is on the increase in our already overstimulated world. Is it any wonder that people's nerves are frayed? I also feel sorry for the drivers, who must listen to that awful noise eight hours a day. What do you think? -- ICE CREAM TRUCK HATER
DEAR ICE CREAM TRUCK HATER: Don't fight an American institution, akin to Mom and apple pie. No doubt many adults find ice cream trucks annoying; however, they have a timeless appeal to children, and I have even heard some grown-ups admit that the music takes them back to their childhood.
When you hear the truck approaching, cover your ears and observe the delighted expressions on the faces of the children gathered around it. The good humor may be contagious.
DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Needs Help in New York."
I was married March 14, and everyone thought it was a beautiful wedding. My parents were thrilled when we told them we were engaged, but they were also financially limited. They told me they would be able to spend "x" amount of money only -- and that's what they did.
My husband's parents gave us a beautiful rehearsal dinner. My husband's brother and sister and their spouses helped foot the bill for the reception. No one was required to take out a loan from anyone.
Our wedding was a collective effort on the part of everyone who loves us -- from those who stood up for us, to those who worked behind the scenes, to those who helped out financially. Our wedding was special and beautiful because those who are dear to us did what they could to make it so.
"Needs Help" should talk with her daughter and her ex-husband and try to come up with a compromise that will make their daughter's wedding what it should be -- a beautiful memory, not a painful monthly payment. You may use my name. -- JENNIFER L. INGRAM, ST. JOSEPH, MO.
DEAR JENNIFER: I agree. And may I add that from your description, your wedding was the ideal -- a joining of two families, accomplished through an outpouring of love and generosity on both sides. Congratulations and continued good fortune.
DEAR ABBY: I read the letter from "Grieving in Orange, Texas," and I decided to write. I am an 11-year-old girl whose family goes to a local nursing home every week to visit the people there. We enjoy the visits tremendously -- and I know for a fact that the patients enjoy our company. -- TRYING TO HELP IN SPRINGFIELD, ORE.
DEAR TRYING TO HELP: Your letter about this wonderful family project made my day, just as I know that your visits to the nursing home make the residents' days.
DEAR ABBY: When we have out-of-town guests, what are our responsibilities?
We provide luxurious private accommodations and meals, which is to be expected. But are we supposed to pay for ALL their entertainment -- such as the ballet, symphony, concert and golf fees?
We invited a couple to stay with us, but where do we draw the line? They will be houseguests for three weeks because they will be coming from a great distance, and this was planned nearly a year ago.
If they offer to pay for anything, should we accept their offer? -- NO NAME OR CITY, PLEASE
DEAR NO NAME: The symphony, concert, ballet and golfing? Your guests appear to be accustomed to the best. The financial arrangements for these activities should be discussed with your invited guests before they arrive and before the reservations are made. If you are purchasing tickets in advance, you can easily ask for their seating preferences -- and which credit card number you should give the box office. Also, if the visitors play golf, with or without you, they should pay their own way.
Since they are staying for an extended period, your guests should reciprocate your hospitality by taking you to dinner at least once a week. You should not have to pay for everything, nor should they expect it.
DEAR ABBY: I read your column regularly and find you to be the voice of reason. On many occasions I thought about writing to you for advice -- and now I am. An invitation to an upcoming bridal shower is what put me over the edge.
Is it appropriate for the bride's mother to throw her daughter a bridal shower? And, more important to me, to include in the invitation a three-page history of the bride and groom, along with the bride's panty and bra sizes? -- HORRIFIED IN THE HAMPTONS
DEAR HORRIFIED: According to the etiquette books, bridal showers may be given for the bride by her friends or relatives -- but never by members of either her immediate family or her fiance's.
I see nothing wrong with including information about the bridal couple for guests who might not have met one of them. However, to include the bride's bra and panty sizes is disclosing far more information than necessary.
I've heard of blushing brides -- but it should be a flush of happiness, not embarrassment.
DEAR ABBY: I would like to add an act of kindness to your collection.
About two years ago, we moved to Alta Laguna Mobile Home Park in Alta Loma, Calif. We had our newspaper subscription transferred.
After three or four mornings, I commented to my wife that the new delivery person was doing an excellent job of getting the paper on the top of our steps right by the door.
Later I discovered that a widow in the park arises at 5:30 every morning and walks around the park picking up newspapers and putting them at the door of all 50 homes.
Abby, the widow is Vernon Stotts (cq), and she just celebrated her 93rd birthday. What a wonderful person.
I hope when I reach her age I am as spry and alert as she is. -- ROBERT J. WATSON JR., U.S. NAVY (RET.)
DEAR ROBERT: So do I. Thanks for writing!
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
NATIONAL DEBT OF GRATITUDE IS PAID ON MEMORIAL DAY
DEAR ABBY: I think it is important that we never forget the sacrifices our servicemen and women have made in order for us to enjoy our precious freedom.
The following poem was written by a dear friend of mine, Douglas Kamees, a disabled veteran who, like me, served in the armed forces so that freedom might ring in America from shore to shore. I hope you find it worth printing on Memorial Day. -- CHARLES LaMARCHE, NEWPORT NEWS, VA.
DEAR CHARLES: I'm pleased to share this fitting tribute with my readers on the traditional date for Memorial Day. Thank you for sending it.
TO THOSE WHO SERVED
We walk for those who no longer walk,
We speak for those whose voice is still.
We remember those with memories lost,
And we honor those who fell.
The soldiers off in foreign lands,
The sailors on foreign seas.
Marines who died in hand-to-hand
That we might all be free.
The airman who, in lofty skies,
flew bravely into wars.
The men who stayed to watch our coast,
and guard our freedom's shores.
To these brave men and women,
Give honor justly due.
Their ultimate sacrifice guaranteed
Freedom for me and you.
-- DOUGLAS KAMEES
DEAR ABBY: I visited an elderly neighbor recently while she was writing her first-of-the-month checks. She was complaining about an account balance that kept going up, even though she never bought anything.
I was "nosy" enough to ask to see the statement, and I was appalled at what I saw. The woman was being charged for supplementary house insurance she didn't need, there was a fee for membership to an auto club -- even though she hasn't driven for more than five years and doesn't own a car -- and she was paying for credit card protection "should she become unemployed." Abby, this neighbor is more than 80 years old and long retired. If only I had looked sooner, I might have saved her many hundreds of dollars.
Other older people may be caught in similar traps. Abby, please warn those who care about their elderly friends and relatives to investigate when they complain about bills they do not understand. Please do not reveal my name or town because it would embarrass my neighbor. -- NOSY NEIGHBOR WITH A PURPOSE
DEAR NEIGHBOR: Bless you for helping your neighbor. While what you describe may be more likely to happen to elderly consumers, anyone who doesn't understand a bill should either discuss it with the company that issued it or have someone else help them clarify the charges.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)