DEAR ABBY: When I saw the headline in your column about domestic violence, and read that you had received letters about women who physically abuse their boyfriends and husbands, I could hardly believe it. I thought I was the only one.
I have been married for 10 years. The first five years were great. Then one day my wife hit me and we got into a terrific fight, which she won. Since then, every once in a while we have another fight after an argument and she beats me up. It is awful.
I never told anyone because I didn't have the nerve. I still love her and she makes over me afterward, which is nice, but other times I don't know what to do. I read about domestic violence, but it is always the women who are the victims. Is there any special advice about what a man should do when he's the victim? -- CONFUSED IN ARIZONA
DEAR CONFUSED: Females abusing males is nothing new, and it is far more common than most people suspect -- for the very reason you gave: Men are embarrassed to admit it.
I offer the same advice to men that I give to women: End the abusive relationship. Although there are few shelters for men because it is believed that it's easier for them to leave than it is for women, if you need moral support and suggestions, call a shelter for battered women and inquire if they also counsel men. If they do not, see a private counselor.
Now is the time to take action because the situation isn't likely to change unless your wife gets long-term counseling -- and even then, there is no guarantee the leopardess will change her spots.