To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: I would like to contribute the enclosed clipping from my local newspaper. Add it to your collection of good deeds; I cried when I read it. We see so many stories about bad kids in the media, such as children killing other children. This proves there are good kids out there, too. Sign me ... A BIG SOFTY IN EUGENE, ORE.
DEAR SOFTY: The article brought tears to my eyes, too. And I'm pleased to share it with my readers:
"We took four of our younger children to the Sheldon Community Center for an Easter egg hunt. Jessica is 9 1/2 and totally blind. She felt it was more fair to hunt with kids her age, rather than with younger kids. At first I wasn't sure this would work; there were many 9-, 10- and 11-year-old kids, gathered in a group, anxiously waiting for the horn to sound. Two girls went out on the field ahead of time. It took a little convincing by the head guy to get them back to wait with the others.
"The horn sounded, and the kids all ran out, picking up eggs like a huge street cleaner. Jessica had her cane ready, but it's hard to slide a cane back and forth on wet grass 'looking' for eggs. There weren't any eggs left for my daughter.
"A father and son were nearby. The boy reached into his small bag, took out a plastic egg and placed it near my daughter. She felt all around her and found the egg. Her face lit up as she placed it in her bag. The little boy then took out two more eggs and placed them around her. One could see the joy he felt in sharing with my daughter.
"Soon, more kids came along, each placing an egg near Jessica. It was hard for me to even thank the kids because my throat was tight and tears tried so hard to escape from my eyes.
"One child came along with a huge bag of eggs and reached down to grab one of the eggs Jessica hadn't found yet, one that was about two inches away from Jessica. Two of the other kids quickly said, 'They are hers!' She gently put the egg back within Jessica's reach. That young girl learned a little that day -- a little about herself, a little about sharing.
"As kids learn to reach out to others, at this young age, they acquire a habit that will last a lifetime. This warm feeling will spread from child to child and will truly help to make this a better world." -- LAHNA RASMUSSEN
DEAR ABBY: Long ago, my lovely wife solved the problem cited by "Frank B. in Chicago," who objects to his wife putting her hair in curlers before she goes to bed.
My Marge laid down the law before we were married: If I wanted her to look good the following day without using curlers the night before, I could jolly well pay for her weekly visit to the beauty parlor.
Expensive as it was at the time (we were only 22), I accepted. That's the way it has worked, to the satisfaction of both of us, for 53 years. -- WILBUR W. IN ATLANTA
DEAR WILBUR: Far be it from me to knock anything that has worked for 53 years!
Mail Carriers Dislike Extra Load of Stinging Insects
DEAR ABBY: I am a letter carrier. Spiders and bees and ants ... oh, my! These insects leap and fly out of mailboxes during spring and summer. Or, they are transported into my vehicle hiding between letters that I remove from mailboxes on my route.
Many people are allergic to the bites and stings, and the natural reaction to a bee in your face, or a spider on your arm, can cause traffic accidents.
Abby, please ask your readers to give mail carriers a break by putting a few mothballs loose in their mailboxes or in a clean tuna can at the back of their mailboxes to keep these insects away. The mothballs should be replaced several times during the insect season. -- BALTIMORE FAN
DEAR BALTIMORE FAN: Thanks for the handy hint. I'm sure no one is happy to reach into a mailbox to find it inhabited by insects, so your suggestion will benefit not only mail carriers, but all individuals with outdoor mailboxes.
DEAR ABBY: Occasionally you print letters concerning photographs of an ex-spouse in family albums. I have found a solution to the problem and it works quite well for us.
I have six grown sons -- all married. Three have been divorced three or four times, so I have photographs of all my ex-daughters-in-law. I like all of them, and they treat me well. Naturally, I want to keep their pictures.
I bought extra photograph albums, then took all of their pictures and transferred them to the new album. The title on the cover is "Has-Beens." Everyone thought it was a cool idea, and now there are no more hurt feelings when they all come to visit me and go through the family albums.
Perhaps this idea will help others. -- DORIS A. VEILLEUX, WINCHENDON, MASS.
DEAR DORIS: An excellent suggestion! You are a practical woman. However, had you asked me what to call it, "History," "Closed Chapters" or "Canceled Contracts" might have been a kinder title.
DEAR ABBY: After 30-some years of reading your column, here goes:
The woman I love and I are both in our early 40s. I have been married once; she has not. She is living with her father, who is unable to care for himself and will not ask for assistance, and she will not leave him to marry me.
We tried living together, but her regular visits to her father (120 miles from here) prevented her from getting a full-time job. Abby, I love her and want to help, but her dad will not hear of it. He is in poor health, and she worries about him when she is away. I sympathize, but this gent has driven several wives away, and now he's a lonely old man.
I have waited for five years, but I cannot wait forever and would like to get on with my life. What can I do? -- STILL WAITING IN MONROVIA, CALIF.
DEAR WAITING: The woman you have loved for five years appears to have already made her choice -- it's Daddy, not you. Face the facts and get on with your life without her.
Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.
DEAR ABBY: I read the letter from "Ruth Daigen in Wantagh, N.Y." about her experience with 911. As a 911 operator, I'm proud that with your help her life was saved. I wholeheartedly agree with you that 911 should be used for emergencies only. Unfortunately, it is often abused.
Please, Abby, advise your readers to think before they dial. If we are responding to a call about a barking dog, the weather or someone who needs a ride, we may be unable to handle a life-threatening emergency. This could mean the difference between life and death. In the front of every phone book is a listing of non-emergency numbers for every local agency.
Do not use 911 as a "game." A prank call can cause someone to lose his or her life, and the penalty is a large fine. Children should be taught to use 911, but only in extreme circumstances. As parents, we don't think about getting hurt or becoming seriously ill, but it happens. With proper training, your 4-year-old could save your life.
We are here to help 24 hours a day. But remember: You are our hands and eyes. Give as many details as possible -- address, directions for getting there, and precisely what the situation is. Then be prepared to listen carefully. With the operator's help, you may save a life.
If you are unable to talk, keep the line open. We will listen, try to determine what kind of help you need and dispatch it immediately. If you have a serious medical condition, contact the office of your local 911 center and inform them in advance, making sure to give them the name of a contact person who has access to your home and can help us enter to reach you.
If you are on the road and use your cell phone to report an accident, be prepared to describe your location. Try to remember mile markers, exits, route numbers, road names, businesses that are close by -- anything that will help us determine where you are.
911 is many people working together: trained professionals, volunteers and the public. When we all cooperate, it works beautifully. If you need help, give me a call. You know my number! -- 911 OPERATORS EVERYWHERE
DEAR 911 OPERATOR: You have written an important letter. I'm printing it because everyone should be familiar with 911 and treat its lifesaving services with the respect they deserve.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I no longer love each other. He's a workaholic and refuses to talk anything out. He said that if I don't like it, I can leave.
He's been this way since day one. I haven't left because we have a 5-year-old son.
Abby, is it better to remain in a loveless marriage for the sake of our son, or would getting on with my life be better? We both want full custody, and I hate to put our son through a nasty legal battle. Neither will I give up my child.
What should I do? -- MISERABLE IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR MISERABLE: Offer your husband the option of marriage counseling in order to improve your relationship. If he refuses, then see a lawyer and get on with your life. The atmosphere you describe is not a healthy one in which to raise a child.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)