DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I are getting married in November. His sister "Sue" and I have never gotten along. However, last year, despite our differences, I asked her to be a bridesmaid in my wedding.
I knew she was thinking about trying to get pregnant (as she is almost 30), so I asked her if there would be a conflict with her being in the wedding party. She said there would be no problem and assured me that if she did start trying to get pregnant, her due date would not coincide with the wedding.
A few months later, Sue and I spoke again about the pregnancy, and she once again assured me that there would be no conflict. In fact, although she was trying to get pregnant, she promised she would stop trying for a few months to be positive she wasn't due in November.
Well, surprise, surprise! She is now pregnant and is due 10 days after the wedding. Needless to say, my fiance and I are very hurt and upset that she let this happen. We feel like she betrayed us and lied without caring about our feelings. We think she acted very selfishly. My fiance's parents think we are wrong to be upset. What do you think? -- THE HURT BRIDE IN TEXAS
DEAR HURT BRIDE: Your quarrel seems to be more with Mother Nature than with your future sister-in-law. However, according to "Emily Post's Complete Book of Wedding Etiquette," "It is better not to choose as a bridesmaid a girl who is noticeably pregnant unless she and the bride are completely comfortable about it." If Sue still wants to be in the wedding, take her to a dressmaker and have a maternity dress made to match the other bridesmaids' attire.
You might also have a junior bridesmaid in your wedding party lineup who is willing to be a pinch-hitter on short notice if Sue can't go the distance.