Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Hot, Steamy Bathroom Is Not the Best Place for Medicines
DEAR ABBY: When I had my medications refilled, I received a printout that advised, "Store at room temperature away from moisture and sunlight." When I questioned the pharmacist, she told me that the moisture in a bathroom may lessen the effectiveness of medications. She said this is true for both prescription and nonprescription drugs.
This was news to me! I have always kept my medications in the medicine cabinet in my bathroom. Isn't that what the cabinet is for? -- QUESTIONING OLD HABITS, MONROE, N.C.
DEAR QUESTIONING: Most pharmacists agree that the bathroom "medicine" cabinet is NOT the best place to store medications, because the varying temperature and steam can adversely affect them. Since most prescription drugs are taken around mealtime, a wiser choice would be to keep your medications in the kitchen -- away from direct sunlight, heat and children -- and reserve the medicine cabinet for toiletries.
DEAR ABBY: As a passport acceptance agent, I would like to inform the public of a beneficial aid for distressed parents who are concerned that the other parent might steal their child out of the country.
A parent may file a Denial of Passport by notifying The Office of Passport and Advisory Services, 111 19th St. NW, Suite 260, Washington, D.C. 20524-1705. The written request must be accompanied with required information, including the appropriate court order document. Further information may be obtained by calling (202) 736-7000. If there is a possibility that the child has dual nationality, that country's embassy or consulate should be contacted to inquire about denial of that country's passport. -- GERI BROOKS, THURSTON COUNTY CLERK, OLYMPIA, WASH.
DEAR GERI: Thank you for volunteering this helpful, possibly vital information. It's heartbreaking that anyone should need it, but I hope it will bring readers with custody issues some peace of mind.
DEAR ABBY: I would like to correct a statement made by a reader in one of your recent columns. The writer was Thomas E. Smith, Ph.D.
It is not "many" medical professionals who deny that chronic fatigue and immune dysfunction syndrome (CFIDS) is a real disease, but MOST of us who hold this view -- and for good reason. There is no evidence whatsoever for the misguided belief that these unfortunate patients have a problem with their immune systems. All the reliable evidence indicates that they suffer from depression.
However, many people still do not accept the idea that the body may be affected by the mind, and the mind by the body. Depression untreated surely causes as much suffering as any other disease. Fortunately, we now have medications that more effectively treat symptoms of depression -- one of which is fatigue. Even those few physicians who do believe in the existence of CFIDS treat such patients with anti-depression medications. -- EUGENE SCHOENFELD, M.D., PSYCHIATRIST, AUTHOR AND COLUMNIST, SAUSALITO, CALIF.
DEAR DR. SCHOENFELD: Other physicians have written to echo your sentiments on this subject. However, whatever the cause of CFIDS, it is a real disease to those who suffer from it, and whatever method is used to treat CFIDS, if it works, then I am for it.
MOMS WHO READ TO THEIR KIDS LEAVE THEM PRICELESS LEGACY
DEAR READERS: Today is Mother's Day, and I welcome this opportunity to offer congratulations and good wishes to my readers as we honor our mothers and celebrate this sentimental occasion.
I've had many requests over the years for the following poem written by Strickland Gillilan. It emphasizes how a mother reading to her child can enrich both their lives. The poem also is a favorite in my "Keepers" booklet.
THE READING MOTHER
(By Strickland Gillilan)
I had a mother who read to me
Sagas of pirates who scoured the sea.
Cutlasses clenched in their yellow teeth;
"Blackbirds" stowed in the hold beneath.
I had a mother who read me lays
Of ancient and gallant and golden days;
Stories of Marmion and Ivanhoe,
Which every boy has a right to know.
I had a mother who read me tales
Of Gelert the hound of the hills of Wales,
True to his trust till his tragic death,
Faithfulness lent with his final breath.
I had a mother who read me things
That wholesome life to the boy heart brings --
Stories that stir with an upward touch.
Oh, that each mother of boys were such!
You may have tangible wealth untold;
Caskets of jewels and coffers of gold.
Richer than I you can never be --
I had a mother who read to me.
I am often asked by readers whose mothers are no longer living if I know of a special prayer that might be offered to honor the memory of a deceased mother.
The one with which I am most familiar is the prayer I found in my Union Home Prayer Book. It is the one Jews recite on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement.
IN MEMORY OF MOTHER
"I remember thee in this solemn hour, my dear mother. I remember the days when thou didst dwell on earth, and thy tender love watched over me like a guardian angel. Thou has gone from me, but the bond which unites our souls can never be severed; thine image lives within my heart.
"May the merciful Father reward thee for the faithfulness and kindness thou has ever shown me; may he lift up the light of his countenance upon thee and grant thee eternal peace. Amen."
DEAR ABBY: What is the significance of wearing a single carnation on Mother's Day? -- FLOWER CHILD
DEAR CHILD: A red carnation is worn to signify that one's mother is living. A white carnation signifies that one's mother is deceased.
There should also be an identifying flower worn by those mothers who chose motherhood by rearing a foster child or stepchild.
And a special place in heaven awaits those mothers who choose a physically or mentally challenged child, knowing that he or she has not only special needs, but also requires a super abundance of love, understanding and patience.
Happy Mother's Day!
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
TODDLER'S TRIPS TO DAD'S HOME DON'T MEET MOM'S APPROVAL
DEAR ABBY: I have a 21-month-old daughter, "Jennifer," who spends every other weekend with her father. Sometimes when she returns home, her fingernails are painted. I have tried to explain to my ex-husband that Jennifer is too young for nail polish and it isn't healthy for her. Her fingernails aren't thick enough, and the chemicals could seep through into her skin. I hate using polish remover because it is too strong. Please help me convince him that Jennifer is too young to have her nails painted. -- WORRIED MOTHER IN WISCONSIN
DEAR WORRIED MOTHER: I checked with a pediatrician who told me that while Jennifer is quite young to wear nail polish, there is nothing medically dangerous about it.
It is important for you to remember that you set the rules for YOUR home and Dad sets them for HIS. As long as what's going on at Dad's is not dangerous, you should not interfere. The same goes for Dad and the rules at your house.
DEAR ABBY: The homes in my neighborhood are very close together. Last year a family moved in next door, and they have terrible fights. Off and on throughout the summer, I couldn't help but hear them yell and cuss at each other, and say horribly cruel and painful things.
Winter weather and closed windows have brought some relief, but I dread the approach of summer and having to listen to their fights again. Abby, I know -- I've lived through situations like that. Thankfully it was a long time ago. It is painful for me to hear them, knowing how much they must be hurting to say those awful things.
I have two questions: If they start fighting again this year, is there an appropriate way of asking them to keep the volume down?
And what, if anything, can I do for their children, who bear the brunt of all this yelling? I have never seen any evidence of physical abuse, but I know all too well the verbal abuse they are receiving can be just as damaging.
I know that low-cost family counseling is available in this community. Should I mention it to them? I don't know them very well, and I'm hesitant to do anything that will make the situation worse. Some people might consider an offer of information about counseling as a statement that they're sick or bad, and I'd hate to give them that impression. -- CONCERNED NEIGHBOR
DEAR NEIGHBOR: Before you offer any information, first establish a level of trust and communication with one or both of your neighbors.
A good place to start would be an invitation to join you for coffee or to go walking -- anything to open the lines of communication.
During one of those chats, you might reveal something of your own painful past, and mention that counseling services are available in your community.
And if your neighbor protests that he/she cannot afford professional counseling, tell them that they can't afford to ignore it, and all the reasons why, including how damaging verbal abuse is to children.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)