DEAR ABBY: The letter signed "Examining Life in Ohio," from the woman who was married to a decent man but didn't consider him her "soul mate," prompts this letter.
I met my soul mate, and on our first date we both knew it. I figured it was the greatest love in the history of the world. I would have died for this man.
We were the perfect match! We had our ups and downs, and his family threw barbs at me every chance they got, but I withstood it because I knew I had his love.
So what happened? After 38 years, I finally admitted what I had been denying for decades (and he still denies): My husband is a more or less functioning alcoholic. He absolutely refuses help, and things are getting worse. The clues have been there for a long time.
Now I am envious of older couples enjoying their later years, while I live with a man who is dishonest and lies constantly. I cannot trust him. I dread holidays with our children and grandchildren. I'm embarrassed and ashamed of him. Not only do I no longer love him -- I don't even LIKE him.
A decent man in one's "golden years" must be wonderful. -- MARRIED PRINCE CHARMING
DEAR M.P.C.: You have my sympathy. Please do not allow yourself to remain submerged in your husband's alcohol problem.
If you haven't already done so, consider attending meetings of Al-Anon. The members are nonjudgmental and supportive. They offer first-hand experience to help you put your life back in order -- whether or not your husband chooses to admit his problem and sober up.
Al-Anon is worldwide, and you can locate a chapter by checking your telephone book.