DEAR ABBY: Our bridge group has been together for more than 30 years. Our members have always been very supportive of each other. We do more than play cards; we socialize and travel together. In short, we're good friends.
For the last year or two, we've had a serious problem with one member of our group. She causes discord and irritates the rest of us. So far, we have avoided a direct confrontation with her.
Some of her annoying habits include constantly interrupting, repeating her own thoughts on what has just been said by others, complaining constantly about her neighbors and her health, loud belching, irritating loud laughter, keeping us waiting while she uses our phones without permission, and embarrassing behavior in public. I could go on and on, and her behavior is getting worse.
We have tried to solve the problem by joking about it, mildly insulting her or just ignoring her. But it doesn't seem to register, and she makes no effort to alter her behavior.
Aside from this, she is a very generous, good-natured individual, and we care about her. We feel she is "fragile," and several members of the group suspect she's mentally ill.
We'd like to salvage our relationship with her, but she's pulling the group apart. We avoid getting together because of her. We must do something if the group is to survive. Can you help us? -- HAD IT IN "SPADES"
DEAR HAD IT: Your bridge group has been together for so long that it would be a shame to ask one longtime member to throw in her hand. She may be having mental problems -- or she may have suffered a hearing loss as she has grown older.
Alert someone in her family to talk to her, or designate two or three of the club members to do it for the good of the group. The alternative is to slowly exclude her from your gatherings.