DEAR ABBY: "Mary" and I dated throughout college, but didn't become sexually involved until our senior year. She discovered she was pregnant two months before graduation, and we were married three weeks after we got our diplomas. We have been married 10 years and have two beautiful children.
We are both in good health and hold down full-time jobs. My problem is my sex drive seems to be increasing while Mary's is definitely decreasing. On a scale of 1 to 10, our sex life would probably be a "2" -- for twice a month.
We have discussed this problem and have even seen a marriage counselor, who suggested that I look for other things to bring satisfaction to my life. I took his advice and found a hobby I enjoyed. I also got more involved in sports and spend more time with the children. All of these things are rewarding, but I yearn for a more meaningful romantic relationship with my wife.
Please don't suggest flowers, candy, etc. I have tried them with little success. I even had an affair, and although the immediate gratification was nice, the guilt was intolerable.
I love my wife and would like our marriage to last. Abby, suggestions would be welcome. -- FRUSTRATED HUSBAND
DEAR FRUSTRATED: It is possible that holding down a full-time job and being a mother to two young children have left your wife with little energy for romance. Show her this letter, and suggest that the two of you get a referral to a licensed sex therapist, in an effort to recapture the magic you had earlier in your marriage. You are both too young and have too much invested in this relationship to allow it to wither.