DEAR ABBY: I have never written to you before, but "Josie," my daughter-in-law, does something that really bothers me. She frequently tells "Sammy," her 3-year-old, to "shut up." That phrase seems so ugly.
I am afraid it will undermine my grandson's self-confidence. Children should be made to feel they are important and loved, and that what they have to say is of interest to adults. They need to be supported. I also think Josie should be more consistent with her discipline. How is Sammy to know if Mommy means it this time when last time she threatened but never acted on her words?
Abby, how can I get my daughter-in-law to quit telling her darling little boy to shut up without coming off as critical and interfering? -- MRS. X IN BANGOR, MAINE
DEAR MRS. X: Explain your fears to your son, and offer some alternative phrases for "shut up." Until your daughter-in-law is willing to make a change, there's nothing you can do to force her. All you can do is lavish your grandson with a double dose of love and support.