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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I'm an avid reader, and each year I'm pleased to see you print addresses and information on how to write to members of the military who are stationed overseas. Believe me, it helps to receive mail when one is away from home. I spent nearly 12 years of my 20-year service career away from home and family.

I am the reunion coordinator for the first overseas unit in which I served during the Korean crisis, and I find it increasingly difficult to locate some members who have common last names. It would be a great service to other reunion coordinators, as well as former service members, if you would pass along the following information to veterans to learn when their former units will hold their next reunion.

Write to VETS at P.O. Box 901, Columbia, Mo. 65205 or call (573) 474-4444; or write to REUNIONS, VFW Magazine, 406 W. 34th St., Suite 523, Kansas City, Mo. 64111.

Thanks, Abby, for being a loyal supporter of servicemen and women, past and present. -- PAUL E. REPSHER, WINTER HAVEN, FLA.

DEAR PAUL: I am pleased to publicize the information, and hope the reunion you are planning is successful. Readers should also know that The American Legion and the Veterans of Foreign Wars magazines provide information about military reunions, help veterans find old buddies, and arrange reunions, travel and accommodations.

DEAR ABBY: Some time ago, you had a letter in your column about returning the engagement ring when the engagement is broken. You said the ring should be returned.

Abby, my question is who should be responsible for all the other expenses? Our daughter dated a young man I'll call "Harold" for a year before they became engaged. They planned their wedding for a year later. Harold called off the wedding because he wanted to date other women.

Abby, the wedding dress, decorations, flowers, hall, groom's ring, etc., had all been paid for. The bridesmaids had paid for their gowns, but our daughter reimbursed them.

Harold feels no obligation to share any of these expenses, although he was the one who wanted a big wedding.

Harold has asked for the engagement ring back, but he's not willing to pay half of the expenses, and I don't think she should return it until he has reimbursed us.

What do you think about this, Abby? -- MOTHER OF THE BRIDE

DEAR MOTHER: Since Harold refuses to reimburse you for any of the expenses, and a fair amount of money was lost, I suggest that you consult an attorney about the ring as well as his share of the expenses.

There have been lawsuits about this dilemma, and in some cases, the court ruled that the ring belonged to the former bride.

It is possible that a court of law will order Harold to ante up a portion of the expenses.

On the positive side, your daughter should realize how fortunate she is that he jumped ship sooner rather than later.

Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600