Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
VETERAN MOBILIZES FORCES TO MAKE REUNION TURNOUT BIG
DEAR ABBY: I'm an avid reader, and each year I'm pleased to see you print addresses and information on how to write to members of the military who are stationed overseas. Believe me, it helps to receive mail when one is away from home. I spent nearly 12 years of my 20-year service career away from home and family.
I am the reunion coordinator for the first overseas unit in which I served during the Korean crisis, and I find it increasingly difficult to locate some members who have common last names. It would be a great service to other reunion coordinators, as well as former service members, if you would pass along the following information to veterans to learn when their former units will hold their next reunion.
Write to VETS at P.O. Box 901, Columbia, Mo. 65205 or call (573) 474-4444; or write to REUNIONS, VFW Magazine, 406 W. 34th St., Suite 523, Kansas City, Mo. 64111.
Thanks, Abby, for being a loyal supporter of servicemen and women, past and present. -- PAUL E. REPSHER, WINTER HAVEN, FLA.
DEAR PAUL: I am pleased to publicize the information, and hope the reunion you are planning is successful. Readers should also know that The American Legion and the Veterans of Foreign Wars magazines provide information about military reunions, help veterans find old buddies, and arrange reunions, travel and accommodations.
DEAR ABBY: Some time ago, you had a letter in your column about returning the engagement ring when the engagement is broken. You said the ring should be returned.
Abby, my question is who should be responsible for all the other expenses? Our daughter dated a young man I'll call "Harold" for a year before they became engaged. They planned their wedding for a year later. Harold called off the wedding because he wanted to date other women.
Abby, the wedding dress, decorations, flowers, hall, groom's ring, etc., had all been paid for. The bridesmaids had paid for their gowns, but our daughter reimbursed them.
Harold feels no obligation to share any of these expenses, although he was the one who wanted a big wedding.
Harold has asked for the engagement ring back, but he's not willing to pay half of the expenses, and I don't think she should return it until he has reimbursed us.
What do you think about this, Abby? -- MOTHER OF THE BRIDE
DEAR MOTHER: Since Harold refuses to reimburse you for any of the expenses, and a fair amount of money was lost, I suggest that you consult an attorney about the ring as well as his share of the expenses.
There have been lawsuits about this dilemma, and in some cases, the court ruled that the ring belonged to the former bride.
It is possible that a court of law will order Harold to ante up a portion of the expenses.
On the positive side, your daughter should realize how fortunate she is that he jumped ship sooner rather than later.
Caring Presence Eases Fears of Patients in Nursing Homes
DEAR ABBY: I have waited for more than two months to write this letter, and many prayers have been said to Our Father to help me get it right.
I have traveled from the Southwest to the Northeast visiting nursing homes with family members and dear friends, as well as doing volunteer work in them years ago. I have seen people there with cancer, Alzheimer's, emphysema, and some who were just old and sick. The staff in some homes is not very kind to many of the lonely residents.
Please, Abby, urge your readers who want to do something worthwhile to volunteer in nursing homes. I have been there and heard the residents crying out for their family members by name all night. I would go up and down the halls and stop to pat them on the hand or brush their hair.
Please tell families to stay with the loved ones when their days are numbered -- or hire, ask or even beg someone to be by their side. Believe me, they are scared to death, and no medicine I have seen completely eradicates the pain.
My darling aunt, whom I loved dearly, died last Thanksgiving Day of cancer -- so beautiful, but so afraid of being alone. There was no way I could leave. She would say, "Please don't leave ... I'm afraid," and so I stayed.
Abby, I hope your readers will take what I've said to heart. After all, any one of them could be next. -- GRIEVING IN ORANGE, TEXAS
DEAR GRIEVING: Please accept my sincere sympathy for the loss of your beloved aunt. I'm hopeful your eloquent letter will move others to volunteer in nursing homes. Although there are medicines that can alleviate physical pain, the most effective cure for loneliness is caring human contact.
DEAR ABBY: Is the following happening all over the country, or is it just happening in the Southern states? I mean, females going all out to get a man.
My husband and I are retirees who have moved to Florida for our so-called "golden years," and this is the second time that this has happened. The most recent incident concerns a somewhat younger woman (a clerk in a food specialty shop) who used sexy conversation and spoken intimacies to attract my husband -- who will be 80 years old his next birthday, but doesn't look it.
I am afraid that if this business continues, I will use physical violence on this person. I don't know what to do otherwise. Please help me. -- R.L. IN WINTER HAVEN, FLA.
DEAR R.L.: Calm down -- there is no guarantee your husband is buying what she's "selling." A word to the owner of the shop should be sufficient to stop the problem. Or you can take your business elsewhere. Violence is not a viable option.
DEAR ABBY: The letters you receive about the kindness of strangers are always enjoyable to read. Let me take this opportunity to thank the gallant young man who, during an unexpected gust of wind, chased after my wig as it rolled across the library parking lot. Sign me ... NOW COVERED IN PHOENIX
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
GOING FISHING WITH WIFE PUTS NEW CAST ON HUSBAND'S HOBBY
DEAR ABBY: In reference to the letter from "Waiting With Baited Hook," I am a 47-year-old, happily married fisherman. I have had the loveliest fishing partner in the world for the past 14 years and have enjoyed every minute of it. There's nothing like sharing the outdoors with your soul mate, teaching her and sharing her excitement in catching a fish. The excitement of fishing is doubled when the experience is shared by someone who is close to you instead of just a "good ole boy" fishing partner.
A turtle on a log, a full moon on a summer night or a gray heron lifting off the water shouldn't be wasted with just one of the guys. Eat your hearts out, guys -- my fishing partner is prettier than yours! -- TERRY DRAUGHON, FROM THE BIG BASS CAPITAL OF TEXAS, LAKE FORK
DEAR TERRY: You'll be pleased to know that my desk has been swamped by a tidal wave of letters carrying similar sentiments. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Waiting With Baited Hook" brought to mind my daughter and son-in-law. They met 10 years ago at a dance. After they'd been dating a few months, we invited him along on a deep-sea fishing trip. When he discovered that our daughter not only enjoyed fishing, but could bait her own hook with live anchovies, he was really impressed. They have been married for nine years and are expecting their first baby in a couple of months.
I'll bet that baby will be fishing as soon as he or she can hold a fishing pole. -- FISHING GRANDMA, BURBANK, CALIF.
DEAR FISHING: It appears that he fell for your daughter hook, line and sinker. (I couldn't resist.)
DEAR ABBY: In response to "Waiting With Baited Hook in Nevada," please let me assure you that just because a woman knows how to fish is no guarantee that she'll be attractive to men.
I am a single middle-aged woman who is addicted to fishing. I own several kinds of boats and enough tackle to sink one.
Guess what? Not one fisherman has taken the bait in more than 20 years. I'm no mermaid, but I'm also not a carp. So much for fishing to catch a man. -- 'THE HAPPY HOOKER' FROM NEW YORK
DEAR HAPPY HOOKER: Most of the readers I've heard from verified the experience of "Waiting With Baited Hook." Perhaps you should be casting your lure in other waters.
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for more than 30 years. Ours has been a very happy marriage. However, every night before going to bed, she puts her hair up in curlers. Now she keeps asking me why I don't kiss her goodnight when we go to bed.
Abby, how would you like to make love to a porcupine? She says she wants to look good for me the next day.
How would you suggest I solve this problem? -- FRANK B. IN CHICAGO
DEAR FRANK: Ask her to please wear a shower cap when she retires, or use hot rollers in the morning.
CONFIDENTIAL TO 'CLUMSY IN VERNON, B.C.': "Every beetle is a gazelle in the eyes of its mother." -- Moorish proverb
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)