DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Ned," and I have lived together for seven years, since I was 19 and he was 21. We have no children.
He proposed to me five years ago and I accepted. However, we haven't legalized our relationship yet, although we have been faithful to each other.
Abby, I do everything for him that a wife does: keep house, cook, do the laundry, let him borrow my car when his isn't running (he won't let me borrow his), and support him emotionally.
I work in a coffee shop and don't make much money, but I have bought all our cookware, dishes, linens and curtains, and I help with the utilities as well as pay for all the groceries. It isn't easy on my wages and tips, but I pinch every penny twice, and I eat where I work to save on food expenses.
Ned makes twice the money I do, and consequently he claims he has the right to make most of the decisions in our life. I tried going to college so I could get a better job, but working full time and attending school was very hard. The hours were killing me.
I would like for us to finally get married, but Ned refuses. He says he won't marry me until I get a job that pays enough to handle half the bills.
Abby, I love him, but it seems that no matter what I do, it's never enough because I can't pay half of everything. Believe me, I would if I could.
Have you any advice for me, Abby? -- BEAST OF BURDEN, KINGMAN, ARIZ.
DEAR B.O.B.: Yes. If you want to get married, find another man, one who will value you for yourself -- not your paycheck. Ned is a user. You deserve far better, but you won't get it from this man. You've given enough, and it's time to move on.