Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)
Free Eye Care Is Available to Eligible Kids and Adults
DEAR ABBY: Every January for the last eight years, thousands of your readers have called and written the American Optometric Association to apply for free eye care available to low-income working people through VISION USA.
During that time, more than 7,500 optometrists have given free eye exams to nearly 245,000 children and adults. Among those helped last year was a teen-ager who had never had an eye exam and who was treated for crossed eyes that caused him to see double when he tried to read. Another young man was diagnosed and treated for glaucoma, and surgery was arranged for a middle-aged man who had a massive tear in his retina, which lines the back of the eye. Without surgical repair, he would have gone blind in that eye.
We hope you will alert your readers to the 1999 VISION USA program. Abby, we appreciate your steadfast support of VISION USA. You are helping many hardworking, deserving people to see better and have healthy eyes. -- JOHN A. McCALL JR., O.D., PRESIDENT, AMERICAN OPTOMETRIC ASSOCIATION
DEAR JOHN: Thank you for sharing your success stories with me and my readers. I'm pleased to publicize your generous efforts. Readers: Application forms are available now from VISION USA, 243 N. Lindbergh Blvd., St. Louis, Mo. 63141, or on the American Optometric Association (AOA) Web site (www.acanet.org) in the "Meet the AOA" section. Completed forms must be postmarked by Jan. 22, 1999. Or, from Jan. 4-29, 1999, low-income working people can be screened for eligibility for VISION USA by calling 1-800-766-4466. Phone lines will be open weekdays from 7:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m.(CST).
To qualify for the free eye care, persons must: have a job or live in a household where there is one working member; have no health insurance that covers eye examinations; have income below an established level based on household size; and have had no eye exam within the last two years. Eligibility requirements may vary in some states.
DEAR ABBY: My wife and her brother took our children and theirs to visit their folks. It was a four-hour drive. My brother-in-law asked us to remove the middle seat from our van so his children could ride on the floor and play. Our children could be buckled in the third seat, but his would have no seat belts and would ride unprotected.
Abby, in my opinion, his request showed an outrageous lack of judgment. We have seat-belt laws in this state, and my brother-in-law had been issued a warning ticket for not buckling up his kids.
I was viewed as a fool for objecting to the removal of the middle seat. They all had a good laugh at my expense. Was I wrong? -- SAFETY-CONSCIOUS DAD IN MONTANA
DEAR DAD: You were not wrong. Had there been an accident, without seat belts, the children could have been seriously injured or killed. You were the only parent who showed common sense and concern for the safety of the children and respect for the law. I hope you stood your ground.
Positive Results on Medical Test Is Signal to Take It Again
DEAR ABBY: People who are in treatment for infertility in California must be tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Much to our shock, my husband tested positive for hepatitis B, which is typically transmitted via sexual contact. Because we knew that he had not been exposed, we requested that our doctor perform the test again to be sure that the test result was correct. Our doctor complied -- with great reluctance -- and sure enough, the test came back completely negative!
We had a terrible time convincing our doctor that the test should be repeated. I hope no one else has to go through that. Please, Abby, encourage your readers to have important tests repeated to ensure the results weren't false. -- RELIEVED IN SANTA BARBARA
DEAR RELIEVED: I've done it before, and I'm pleased to do it again. Readers, never hesitate to have important tests repeated, or to ask for a second, or even a third opinion, if there's a question about a diagnosis.
DEAR ABBY: Please print this on behalf of all the short, older people who enjoy dining out but who feel dwarfed sitting at tables built to accommodate taller people.
Restaurateurs: Please give us a lift! Those of us who have shrunk with age, are crippled with arthritis or have lost range of motion in our shoulders would certainly appreciate a "boost" in the form of a cushion to allow us to sit higher at your tables -- or a chair that sits higher off the floor. We would have more leverage and could manipulate the cutlery much easier.
As long as there are special areas in restaurants for smokers and non-smokers and accommodations for the disabled, why not be innovative and accommodate us? The older population is increasing by leaps and bounds, infirmities and all, and many of us are tired of feeling that we're sitting in a hole while we eat!
Restaurateurs who heed this cry for help would stand 10 feet tall in the eyes of us little people. -- SHORTY FROM WISCONSIN
DEAR SHORTY: As a person who is 5-feet-nothing, I feel your pain. However, I'm surprised that a pillow or "booster" wasn't available upon request. I'm printing your message for restaurateurs to see -- but a better solution might be to bring your own cushion when you dine out, in case the restaurant owner misses this column.
DEAR ABBY: I have noticed that from time to time you print jokes in your column. I'm wondering if you ever heard this one? -- CHARLES PIERCE, TOLUCA LAKE, CALIF.
DEAR CHARLES: How generous of you! As a matter of fact, I hadn't heard it. However, I'm sure many readers will relate to it, as I did:
Talk show host Larry King was interviewing the devil. When Larry asked him what his greatest achievements were, the devil responded by saying, "The world wars were fun to do. That iceberg didn't just 'happen' to be in the way of the Titanic. I put it there! Then, of course, there were some monumental earthquakes, floods, mudslides -- and the Hindenburg. That was a blast!"
Larry thought for a moment and pressed further: "I know, but what was your GREATEST achievement?"
The devil's horns began vibrating. His eyes flashed neon red. He leaned across the desk into Larry's face and said, "Call waiting."
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Teen Stuck in Dreary Job Seeks Out Brighter Lights
DEAR ABBY: I am 17, almost 18, out of high school, and working at an advertising agency. My aunt and someone I knew there got me the job.
When took the job, I thought it would be glamorous. Wrong. It's boring. I do the job well, but I don't enjoy working behind a desk seven-plus hours a day. I am very outgoing and want to work in the entertainment field.
Abby, I would like to go to college and study music, but my parents are so proud of me for having this job that I'm afraid it would break their hearts if I gave up this opportunity. I don't want to hurt them, but I don't want to be stuck here forever. How can I handle this without disappointing my family? -- WANNA BE A STAR
DEAR WANNA BE: I'm sure your parents consider it a feather in your cap to be in advertising at your young age. However, as parents, they would not want you to waste away at a job you dislike. Be honest with them. Tell them you want to go to college and pursue a career in entertainment. They may caution you that the field is risky, but if you promise to also prepare in college for a secondary career in a more stable field, your parents will probably support your decision.
DEAR ABBY: We don't own a computer, but the Internet has had an effect on us. Our daughter lives 300 miles from us, and until our last visit, we always enjoyed the time we spent with her and her family. This time, however, they spent more time on the chat lines than they did with us. We were deeply hurt that the chat lines were more important than we were.
As we returned home, we discussed staying home in the future, rather than driving all that distance only to be put in front of a television set while they sat in front of their computer.
Unfortunately, many people ignore their guests in favor of Internet friends; they see nothing wrong with it.
We hope they recognize themselves in your column and take the message to heart. -- STAYING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS
DEAR STAYING HOME: Don't count on it. The guilty rarely recognize themselves in my column and change their ways. I understand that some people get "hooked" on chat lines, but that's no excuse for ignoring guests.
If it's not inconvenient, consider inviting your daughter and her family to spend the holidays at YOUR home occasionally, where no computer can interfere with the celebration or conversation.
DEAR ABBY: I'm a single parent, a father raising a 6-year-old boy. My father also lives in our home. My son gets a lot of attention from Dad and me, and he also has everything money can buy.
My friends have advised me to marry as soon as possible so that my son will have a mother. Should I rush into a marriage, or wait until I find someone very special? (I would rather wait.)
How will living in an all-male household affect my son? -- WONDERING DAD
DEAR WONDERING: Although it's ideal for a child to have two parents in his life, the wrong mother is worse than no mother at all. Children are adaptable, so take your time and listen to your intuition.
Should you notice signs that your son is "missing" something, enlist the help of a female relative to provide some female influence. Or consult a child psychologist to advise you.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)