What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Two Are No Better Than One When Pills Are Out of Date
DEAR ABBY: A couple of weeks ago, my grandfather was having chest pains. He has a history of heart problems, and had been prescribed nitroglycerin pills for emergencies. Unfortunately, the pills had expired long ago. My grandfather knew it and took two to make up the difference. It didn't, so he took two more. Abby, my grandfather took six pills within a half-hour and was feeling progressively worse. He called my grandmother and asked her to call 911.
A few hours later, we learned that he had suffered a severe angina attack. It didn't damage his heart, but he could have avoided a hospital stay if the pills he had taken were still potent. Some people might think that the expiration date stamped on the bottle is a "guideline" or just a way for the pharmacy to make money. As my family learned, this assumption is wrong.
Please tell your readers the importance of checking the expiration dates on their medications, and that the pills are not good after the expiration date -- even if the bottle is unopened. -- ALLEN BOUCHARD, CUMBERLAND, R.I.
DEAR ALLEN: I'm passing the word along -- with a little advice from a pharmacist at the Mayo Clinic: Many medications are relatively stable, but it's probably a good idea to discard medications that have been in the patient's possession for more than a year. Nitroglycerin is an exception, however, because it can deteriorate even more rapidly. Because of this fact, pharmacists will dispense this medication in the original bottle from the manufacturer -- which has an airtight seal under the cover.
This is the reason it's not a good idea for patients to transfer nitroglycerin tablets to any other kind of pillbox or container. Once the seal on the bottle is broken, it's wise to get a new supply of the drug after three to six months and to discard the old bottle -- particularly if the medication has been exposed to heat and humidity. This is usually not a hardship for the patient, as nitroglycerin is a fairly inexpensive medication.
DEAR ABBY: I am 13 years old and in the eighth grade. Last year, a new guy moved to our school. When I first saw him, something clicked! I fell for him instantly. I mean, I knew I liked him before I even talked to him.
When he found out I was interested, he said he thought I was cute and he'd like to get to know me better. Then school was out.
Now, we're back in school, but the only time I get to see him is at lunch for about 30 minutes. He's always turning around and looking at me and smiling, but we haven't even talked to each other!
What should I do? Write him a letter? Talk to him? Wave? Please help! -- IN LOVE IN KENTUCKY
DEAR IN LOVE: Chances are that he feels the same way about you -- that's why he keeps turning around and looking at you. But don't put anything on paper. The next time he turns around and smiles at you, smile back. Say "Hi," and ask him what he thought of last Friday's football game, or some other school activity. Listen attentively. That will break the ice and perhaps get the ball rolling.
Mom Is Unsure About Breaking Engagement News to Daughters
DEAR ABBY: I am a 38-year-old woman with two daughters, 17 and 13. I've been divorced for eight months, but the marriage was dead 10 years ago. Most of that time, I have slept on the couch. Although my daughters never saw me hold hands, kiss, or show any kind of affection toward their father, I'm not sure they realized how unhappy our marriage was, and they were upset when we divorced.
I met "Andy" while separated but still legally married. We have fallen in love and want to marry in about six months. However, my daughters are not crazy about him and think I should date others.
Andy and I have been looking at engagement rings. I'm worried that if I just show up with a ring on my finger, my daughters will be upset. They don't like it when they see Andy and me being affectionate with each other, and I'm not sure they know how serious we are. When should I tell them? I've been somewhat of a pushover in the past, but I won't budge on this. Andy and I love each other and we will be married. -- FUTURE FIANCEE
DEAR FUTURE FIANCEE: Forewarn your daughters and explain, without blaming or belittling their father, that you are seizing this opportunity for a happy future. If they're not forthcoming, make it clear that just as you treat their friends with respect, you expect the same from them with regard to your future husband. Reassure them that your love for them won't change, and ask for their blessings.
DEAR ABBY: I have begun a weight-loss program after having been seriously overweight for many years. This time I seem to be on the right track because it's working.
When I go to a dinner party, is it OK to take a cooked chicken breast with me and give it to my hostess to serve to me? It would not be putting her out, as I would have already cooked it. I cannot eat ham, roasts or steaks, but I don't want to miss being with my friends.
Please answer ASAP because the holidays are upon us. -- MOTIVATED IN MICHIGAN
DEAR MOTIVATED: I admire your determination in negotiating the holiday minefields. You certainly may take your specially prepared food with you, but warn your hostess when you accept the invitation, so she won't be offended. Most guests will respect and admire your efforts to lose weight. And nuts to those who would criticize you!
DEAR ABBY: I went into shock when I read the letter from "Stressed Daughter in Florida." She perfectly described my mother, who insisted on living with me rather than in the apartment next door.
My mother had money and was in excellent health, but couldn't keep a friend. She would eat only certain foods. My life was hell if I went out with friends and didn't include her. Her lies to my friends caused a lot of heartache.
Please tell "Stressed Daughter" to say "NO" and not back down. I've been there and know how it feels. My mother died five months ago after four years with me. I am still recuperating mentally, physically and spiritually. I would not say "yes" again. Thank God, I'm free at last. Hell is gone, heaven has returned. Sign me ... NEVER AGAIN IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR NEVER AGAIN: I advised "Stressed Daughter" to stand her ground and not back down. If she had any doubts before, seeing your story should convince her.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Miracle of Life Can Be Shared Through Umbilical Cord Blood
DEAR ABBY: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Because of your column, lives have been saved, and many parents can hear the happy laughter of a child with a future. Because of a letter you printed more than a year ago, many families have stored their newborn's umbilical cord blood for potential use in the treatment of more than 30 different diseases. Cord-blood banking is biological life insurance.
Many expecting parents learned about the use of umbilical cord-blood stem cells only through your column, and took the article to their OB or oncologists and asked for more information. Many umbilical cord-blood transplants have been performed for victims of cancer, and many of these children are alive today.
For the thousands of families who may have missed your original column or didn't need it at the time, would you please rerun it? -- KAY AND JACK MULLINS, APPLETON, WIS.
DEAR KAY AND JACK: Here it is, with pleasure:
DEAR ABBY: I am an educator with the Cord Blood Registry, responding to the letter in your column about donors needed for the bone marrow registry. I would like to tell you and your readers about an amazing opportunity to assist tens of thousands of people in need of stem cells that used to be available only through bone marrow transplants.
Diseases like Hodgkin's lymphoma, sickle cell anemia and leukemia can now be treated with stem cells from umbilical cord blood.
The process of collecting it is painless; however, it must be collected immediately after birth. Umbilical cords are often just discarded. It's a tragedy that expectant parents are rarely made aware of the importance of their child's umbilical cord blood. It can be banked privately for their families or donated to the International Cord Blood Foundation.
Abby, please urge families to contact the Cord Blood Registry at (888) 267-3256 (toll-free) or www.cordblood.com to learn more about banking their cord blood. -- KATIE HEFFELFINGER, CORD BLOOD EDUCATOR, BETHLEHEM, PA.
DEAR MS. HEFFELFINGER: I'm pleased to alert readers to this relatively new therapy, which became available in the late 1980s.
I was fascinated to learn that "cord blood" is the blood that remains in the umbilical cord and placenta after a baby is born. Like bone marrow, it has been found to be a rich source of stem cells, the building blocks of the blood and immune system. Cord blood may provide treatment advantages over bone marrow, especially when it comes from an immediate family member.
If the umbilical cord blood of all deliveries were stored, successful matches could be found without the time-consuming search for a bone marrow donor.
There is no cost for public donation of umbilical cord blood, but the application and testing process must be started at least two months before the delivery. Parents wishing to store their newborn's cord blood for their own potential use can do so for a fee. However, anyone with a family member who already has a condition for which stem cells may be a treatment option can store cord blood at no cost through the Cord Blood Registry's Designated Transplant Program.
Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.