Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.
Miracle of Life Can Be Shared Through Umbilical Cord Blood
DEAR ABBY: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Because of your column, lives have been saved, and many parents can hear the happy laughter of a child with a future. Because of a letter you printed more than a year ago, many families have stored their newborn's umbilical cord blood for potential use in the treatment of more than 30 different diseases. Cord-blood banking is biological life insurance.
Many expecting parents learned about the use of umbilical cord-blood stem cells only through your column, and took the article to their OB or oncologists and asked for more information. Many umbilical cord-blood transplants have been performed for victims of cancer, and many of these children are alive today.
For the thousands of families who may have missed your original column or didn't need it at the time, would you please rerun it? -- KAY AND JACK MULLINS, APPLETON, WIS.
DEAR KAY AND JACK: Here it is, with pleasure:
DEAR ABBY: I am an educator with the Cord Blood Registry, responding to the letter in your column about donors needed for the bone marrow registry. I would like to tell you and your readers about an amazing opportunity to assist tens of thousands of people in need of stem cells that used to be available only through bone marrow transplants.
Diseases like Hodgkin's lymphoma, sickle cell anemia and leukemia can now be treated with stem cells from umbilical cord blood.
The process of collecting it is painless; however, it must be collected immediately after birth. Umbilical cords are often just discarded. It's a tragedy that expectant parents are rarely made aware of the importance of their child's umbilical cord blood. It can be banked privately for their families or donated to the International Cord Blood Foundation.
Abby, please urge families to contact the Cord Blood Registry at (888) 267-3256 (toll-free) or www.cordblood.com to learn more about banking their cord blood. -- KATIE HEFFELFINGER, CORD BLOOD EDUCATOR, BETHLEHEM, PA.
DEAR MS. HEFFELFINGER: I'm pleased to alert readers to this relatively new therapy, which became available in the late 1980s.
I was fascinated to learn that "cord blood" is the blood that remains in the umbilical cord and placenta after a baby is born. Like bone marrow, it has been found to be a rich source of stem cells, the building blocks of the blood and immune system. Cord blood may provide treatment advantages over bone marrow, especially when it comes from an immediate family member.
If the umbilical cord blood of all deliveries were stored, successful matches could be found without the time-consuming search for a bone marrow donor.
There is no cost for public donation of umbilical cord blood, but the application and testing process must be started at least two months before the delivery. Parents wishing to store their newborn's cord blood for their own potential use can do so for a fee. However, anyone with a family member who already has a condition for which stem cells may be a treatment option can store cord blood at no cost through the Cord Blood Registry's Designated Transplant Program.
Acupressure Technique for Leg Cramps Helps Out in a Pinch
DEAR ABBY: I learned something in the '70s that I would like to pass on to your readers. Your column is the best way I know to reach the most people.
I was watching a college football game on television. The sportscasters were Keith Jackson and Frank Broyles. A player was lying on the field with what appeared to the sportscasters to be a leg cramp. Frank Broyles commented that they should pinch his upper lip just under his nose to stop the cramp. Keith Jackson, and probably millions of other viewers like me, laughed at the idea.
However, the next time I got a leg cramp in the middle of the night, I pinched my upper lip. Sure enough, I quickly felt relief! This method has saved me many moments of excruciating pain.
I don't know if it will help everyone, but it wouldn't hurt to try it. Abby, every time I have a leg cramp, I thank Frank Broyles for his simple, quick remedy. -- DON SHNELL, HOBART, OKLA.
DEAR DON: Thank you for sharing this acupressure technique. However, if leg cramps persist, it would be a good idea to consult your family doctor to be sure they aren't symptoms of a potentially serious medical problem.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 43-year-old mother, married for 25 years, with three wonderful children. My 20-year-old son recently moved out of state to become a law enforcement officer.
Abby, I'm not handling the loss very well. There are thousands of books on raising children, but very few on letting go. I asked at my local bookstore for a book on "the empty-nest syndrome," but the clerk couldn't help me -- and told me to enjoy my free time and, in effect, get over it. I was at a loss as to what to say to her, so I smiled, left the store, and then broke down and cried.
I understand this is a great opportunity for my son, and I wish him all the success in the world, but the fact remains, I must adjust to his absence.
How do I express this to others who think it's silly to grieve for a child who has moved? -- EMPTY IN ARIZONA
DEAR EMPTY: Empty-nest syndrome is a very real set of emotions. When children start to leave home -- even for positive reasons -- the family unit is changed forever. Traditions are altered, and even the sight of an empty bedroom can trigger depression. Add to that the knowledge that your son is entering law enforcement -- a dangerous profession -- and it's no wonder your outlook is affected.
One way to lose the blues is to remind yourself that your son's departure is a symbol of your success as a parent. It is also an opportunity for growth for both of you. Write your son often and tell him all the hometown and family news. Send him "I care" packages. Learn about his new life, and continue familiar activities with the children who remain at home. Stay busy and try to be positive; don't give yourself time to brood.
And finally, don't allow anyone to make you feel you must apologize for your feelings. They are normal and part of life.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Mother's Sharp Words Leave Daughter With Lifelong Scars
DEAR ABBY: Because many people from all walks of life read your column, it's the best way to make parents aware of something they may unintentionally be doing to their children. Let me explain:
Recently I was standing in a store when I saw a young boy, who appeared to be about 10 years old, with his mother and a young girl. The mother said something to the boy, and he failed to respond correctly. Then she yelled at him, "Are you stupid or dumb or both?" It was evident that the child was embarrassed.
Abby, I know exactly how he felt. When I was young, my mother never missed a chance to tell me how dumb, stupid or unattractive I was. Although she told me often how much she loved me, she undermined my self-esteem with her cruel remarks. I know she doesn't recall making such remarks, but here I am 50 years old and those words are still ringing in my ears. To this day, I am reluctant to attempt anything new or different for fear I will look stupid.
I have been to a fine counselor who has helped me deal with this, and I have a wonderful family of my own now who encourage me and assure me I can succeed at anything I want.
I do not wish ill upon my mother, but I feel very little for her and have no desire to share my life with her.
My point is: Parents should stop and think before saying things to their children that can traumatize them for life. The words may not cause physical harm, but they hurt nevertheless. -- STILL HURTING IN RICHMOND, VA.
DEAR STILL HURTING: You said a mouthful. I recall a little verse from childhood: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Nothing could be further from the truth. Thank you for your sound advice to parents.
DEAR READERS: I'm a longtime fan of Forbes. In the November issue, the magazine features a collection of "Golden Oldies" listing a number of people who had become successful in the autumn of their lives:
"Ray Kroc started the franchising of McDonald's restaurants when he was 52.
"Col. Harlan Sanders started his franchising business, Kentucky Fried Chicken, at 62.
"Frank Lloyd Wright designed Fallingwater (the Edgar Kaufmann house in Bear Run, Pa.) at 69, and the Guggenheim Museum at 76.
"Coco Chanel designed her famous woman's suit after coming back from retirement at age 71.
"Grandma Moses begain painting at 78.
"Emily Post's 'Etiquette' was published when she was 50.
"John Huston directed James Joyce's 'The Dead' at 80.
"Ferdinand Graf von Zeppelin started producing his lighter-than-air crafts at 62.
"And last but not least, let us not forget John Glenn -- officer, astronaut, senator -- who literally went out of this world into space at age 77."
Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)