Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklets I and II, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)
EARLY RISER GETS FIRST CRACK AT NEIGHBOR'S MORNING PAPER
DEAR ABBY: We have lived in a small apartment complex for four years. The family next door has lived here a little longer. We get along well with our neighbors and respect each other's boundaries.
I have a habit that I fear may be inappropriate, and I would like your opinion. Our neighbors subscribe to the newspaper, which is delivered very early every morning, long before they get up. I'm an early riser and I hear it hit their front porch. As soon as it does, I reach over and borrow it. I read only my family's horoscopes, the comics and, of course, your column. I never keep any part of their paper, and I always fold it carefully and place it on their porch before they wake up.
Am I doing wrong by sneaking a peek from their daily newspaper? I hope to read your response in their paper. -- SNEAK-A-PEEK NEIGHBOR
DEAR SNEAK-A-PEEK: Yes. The paper belongs to your neighbors. Since they pay for the subscription, they have a right to receive it fresh off the press, not after it's been rifled through. (Don't assume they can't tell.) Ask if they mind your "borrowing" their newspaper and offer to split the cost of their subscription. It's the honorable thing to do.
DEAR ABBY: I am a Lion from the Sandusky Lions Club, in the Ohio city where the late Helen Keller first challenged Lions International to become the "Knights for the Blind."
Periodically you publish announcements of free eye care for the working poor offered early in the year by the American Optometric Association. Please make your readers aware that similar services are offered year-round in most communities of the United States, and also in many communities around the world.
Most towns or cities have a Lions Club. Each one is dedicated to providing services to further sight conservation. Most of our clients are referred by school nurses or various churches. The clients tend to be individuals who do not qualify for Medicaid and have no medical insurance.
Please let your readers know that they should contact a local Lions Club member if they know anyone in need of services for loss of sight or diabetes (the leading cause of blindness). -- JUDE THEIBERT, SANDUSKY, OHIO
DEAR JUDE: Thank you for the timely reminder that the Lions Club provides these important services. And thank you, Lions, for meeting Helen Keller's challenge.
Readers, you can assist the Lions Club in fulfilling their mission by donating your old eyeglasses. Call your local Lions Club or look for Lions Club collection barrels in libraries, malls, eyewear stores or other public places. Better yet, call 1-800-74SIGHT (747-4448) for the address of the nearest collection site.
What a wonderful gift to give during this holiday season -- the gift of sight!
P.S. The Lions Club is the largest service organization in the world, with an impressive 144,000 clubs in 185 countries. Almost a million and a half members, men and women, volunteer their time for humanitarian causes. Staggering figures, to say the least.
Readers Exchange Promising Gift Suggestions for Seniors
DEAR READERS: Yesterday I printed my annual column with suggestions for holiday gifts for seniors. Today I'm printing some of the feedback I've received on the subject from readers:
DEAR ABBY: Every year you devote at least one column to holiday gift suggestions for seniors. I would like to tell you what my siblings and I have given my widowed father that seemed to please him.
One year we presented him with a round-trip ticket to visit his sister. Another year we bought tires for his car -- each of us gave him one tire so that he had to visit all our homes to collect his gift. We all enjoyed those visits.
Another gift he appreciated was full payment for one doctor's visit, plus the medication prescribed that day. We have presented him with eyeglasses, dentures and countless items for his kitchen, bath, bedroom or living room -- mostly supplies -- but sometimes "luxury" items.
Each year Dad brags about our gifts at the seniors center where he and his friends socialize, so we know our choices are good ones. -- CHERYL MELENDEZ IN WISCONSIN
DEAR CHERYL: Every year readers ask me what to give to seniors who are living on fixed incomes. Thank you for your practical suggestions. I'm sure they'll inspire others to think creatively. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Last year my nephew asked my sister what he could give her for Christmas. His finances were tight and he couldn't afford an expensive gift. She reminded him how much she loves a clean car and suggested that he "give" her a car wash once a month for a year. Actually, the gift served two purposes. Not only was her car kept clean, she also was guaranteed a visit once a month.
Abby, most of us seniors don't need more jewelry or knickknacks, but we can always use a helping hand -- and a visit from our "kids." -- BARBARA M. BUTLER, BOWIE, MD.
DEAR ABBY: Around the holidays, you always print a list of items that seniors need more than dusting powder and knickknacks. May I suggest a prepaid calling card? With this, they can keep in touch with friends and family without running up their phone bill. -- RICHARD STROMBOM, WHEELING, ILL.
DEAR ABBY: With the holiday shopping season upon us, I'd like to share a gift idea with your readers. "Eco-gifts" save energy or create little or no waste. Some practical eco-gifts include low-flow showerheads, rechargeable flashlights, fire extinguishers, or tickets to a play or movie. Another eco-saving idea is to reduce or eliminate gift wrapping. (Christmas is the biggest garbage collection week of the year!) Readers who are seniors who wonder what to give to the younger generation should also consider "eco-gifts" -- savings bonds, music, dance or other lessons -- or even a new experience such as a train ride. -- PROFESSOR MARIE S. HAMMER, HOUSING/HOME ENVIRONMENT, UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA
DEAR BARBARA, RICHARD AND PROFESSOR HAMMER: Thanks for the excellent suggestions. May I also add a few more? Cold weather dominates the holiday season, so perhaps some jogging outfits would be welcome because they are warm and comfortable. And while I'm on the subject of the winter chill, a check toward some of the heating bills would also be a terrific gift. Ho-ho-ho!
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Practical Gifts for Seniors Are Better Than More Stuff
DEAR ABBY: I foolishly tossed out your column on what to give seniors for Christmas, thinking I knew what to give my parents. However, this summer I married a man several years older than myself, and now I could use some suggestions about what I can buy for my elderly in-laws. This is my first Christmas in the family, and I want to be sure to give them something they can use and enjoy. Help! -- MELISSA IN MINGO JUNCTION, OHIO
DEAR MELISSA: I'm pleased to help.
When buying gifts for seniors, keep in mind that most seniors have more than their share of dusting powder and aftershave, and have run out of room for bud vases and bird feeders. Some practical alternatives:
-- Postcards or lined stationery with a generous supply of postage stamps.
-- A gift certificate for their favorite grocery store, deli or pharmacy.
-- An assortment of greeting cards for birthdays and anniversaries, as well as get-well and condolence cards.
-- A "paid in advance" certificate for 10 lawn mowings or snow shovelings by a neighborhood youngster.
-- A "certificate" for a service you can perform that is difficult for them -- a thorough house cleaning, a month's laundry, a handyman visit for home safety inspection and minor repairs.
-- An offer to rewrite their address book in large, more legible print.
-- A month of Sunday drives to church, or to the country, the museum or the park.
-- If the person on your list is on a limited income, a check in any amount will be appreciated.
-- A subscription to their favorite magazine or the daily newspaper.
-- A basket of goodies assembled especially for them: cans of ham, tuna, chicken, hearty soups, chili and stew; instant coffee and tea bags; crackers; instant soup mixes.
-- A selection of their treasured, tattered photos retouched and placed into a new album, with captions.
-- A drive to see the Christmas lights and decorations, as well as store windows.
If a senior says, "Please don't give me anything," that usually means, "I have more things than I need." However, a gift of your time will be appreciated and remembered long after the holiday has passed and the material gifts are stored away. Trust me.
DEAR ABBY: I have lived in a sexless marriage for almost 25 years. Shortly after our marriage, my husband told me that since we didn't plan to raise a family, there was no need to have sexual relations. He said he didn't like to get hot and sweaty.
A few days ago, I ran across a prescription bottle of -- you guessed it -- Viagra. I know he's not using it for my benefit. Should I confront him about it? I have thought sex was a dead issue for my entire married life, and this really distresses me. -- CAROL IN SMALLTOWN, MO.
DEAR CAROL: You have good reason to be distressed. Although you thought sex was a dead issue for your entire married life, it appears there has been a resurrection. Your husband owes you an explanation.
Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.