DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law died in 1989, but my sister-in-law still sends an anniversary card to her father on their anniversary. In addition, she sends her father a sympathy card on the anniversary of her mother's death.
I have never heard of this. Is it normal? Is it healthy? -- CONCERNED SISTER-IN-LAW
DEAR CONCERNED: Not only is it healthy, it's a very loving gesture. Your sister-in-law is to be commended for her sensitivity. I have received countless letters from widows and widowers bemoaning the fact that friends and relatives ignore the anniversary after the spouse dies. They tell me it's as if the marriage never took place, and it's a very lonely day for them. Because the spouse is deceased doesn't mean that the day isn't meaningful for the survivor. It's an important event, one filled with precious memories.