DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 27 years. My in-laws live in another time zone, one hour ahead. When they come here to visit, they stay on their normal schedule. They expect to eat, go to bed, get up, etc., just as they do when they are at home. They literally take over, and my family is expected to do everything on THEIR time.
Abby, I was taught that when you're a houseguest, you're supposed to fit into the lifestyle of your host.
My father-in-law takes us out to eat when he comes here. Does that give him the right to take over our house, boss us, and force us to adapt to his schedule? Please let me know what to do. I'm at my wit's end about this. Should I keep my mouth shut or demand that when they visit they be more considerate?
Please don't reveal my name or location. My husband sides with his parents in this and has threatened to divorce me if I say anything to them about the way I feel. I think it's very rude behavior on the part of the in-laws. They should know better, as they're in their late 60s and early 70s. -- FURIOUS
DEAR FURIOUS: After 27 years, I think it's far too late to change the rules. Your husband's parents are too old to change at this point. As people grow older, their schedules become more difficult to alter. Continue being the accommodating hostess you have always been, and keep the visits -- and the conflict -- to a minimum.