DEAR ABBY: I'm very upset with my boyfriend. "Jeff" stood me up on the anniversary of our first date. It was a very important occasion to me. He had promised that we'd have a special date that evening.
I was recuperating from a hysterectomy, and it would have been our first night of lovemaking since the surgery. He had been very supportive up until that time.
Jeff is in the National Guard and volunteers for extra duty to earn extra pay because he's between jobs. However, he could have at least called me to say he couldn't make it. This is the second time in six months that he's stood me up without calling.
I haven't called him and I don't think I should. I did write him an angry letter with a lot of name-calling, but I didn't mail it. (It helped me dispel some anger.)
What do I do now? -- PUT OUT IN ALBUQUERQUE
DEAR PUT OUT: I don't blame you for being upset. Now comes the hard part -- waiting to see how long it takes Jeff to call and apologize for standing you up. If you don't hear from him within two weeks, you can safely assume he has ended the relationship -- and not very nicely, I might add.
DEAR ABBY: I would like to address my remarks to "Dying Inside," who witnessed his girlfriend and his "best friend" in a sex act in the friend's car, and asked your advice.
You, my friend, are not alone. There are loads of men and women who have also died inside, but take it from me -- it will only get worse if you don't quickly distance yourself from these two.
My ex-wife, whom I loved too much and took from near poverty, "rewarded" me by cheating with a man I thought was my friend. I had helped him find employment doing gardening at the mall she managed. Because of my blind love for her, I not only allowed her to embarrass me with my friends and family, I also gave her the opportunity to steal my hard-earned money.
So please, "Dying Inside," for your own sake, do not allow this cheat to inflict any more of the pain that I'm sure will follow the pain you now feel. Don't be the fool that I was. Listen to someone who has been there, and not to your heart. Run fast, my friend, and don't look back. -- BROKENHEARTED, BROKEN FINANCIALLY, BUT FINALLY HAPPY
DEAR FINALLY HAPPY: Your signature speaks volumes. Your lesson makes sense. Betrayal is painful to face, not to mention damaging to one's self-esteem. And as hard as the perpetrator may try to justify the betrayal, it doesn't diminish the enormity of it. I'm pleased to know that you are recovering.
DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter about the "paper shower" invitation. I agree with the writer. I never would have thought twice about it. I would have bought two 24-roll packages of toilet paper, an eight-roll package of paper towels, four boxes of tissues and two packages of paper napkins to take to the shower.
I'm sure I would have been embarrassed at the party when everyone else gave money, but I would have loved seeing the expression on the face of the bride-to-be when she opened my paper gift! -- GRANDMA J.J., WOODBURY, MINN.
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