DEAR ABBY: I am 30 years old, the mother of two small children, attending college full time. My boyfriend is 27 and the father of my second child.
I'm looking for work, but it's hard finding a job that allows me to make my classes and have time for my children. My boyfriend paid the rent and helped me take care of the kids, but he recently left me. He said there were too many problems, and he couldn't take the stress anymore.
Abby, I admit he didn't have it easy with me going to school, taking care of the children, studying and trying to look for work. However, when times were hard for him, I didn't run away. I stayed and tried to help him. I even paid the rent and bought food for him out of the little support money I get for my first child. Now that I need him, he says he "needs his space." He wants us to separate until each of us gets our economic problems and personal issues resolved.
I love him, but I feel like a fool for sticking with him through thick and thin only to be cast aside when he's tired of the problems. Do you think I should keep trying to reconcile, or move on? -- BEFUDDLED DOWN SOUTH
DEAR BEFUDDLED: How much can this man love you if he takes off when you and the children need him? Granted, the circumstances were difficult, but a burden shared is only half as heavy.
I cannot make your decision for you; however, you should carefully consider whether you want a man you can't count on.
P.S. Should you choose to move on, don't hesitate to have child support legally established -- you'll need it.