Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
'Call Police' Car Banners Send Help in All Directions
DEAR ABBY: All of us at the Westside Center for Independent Living thank you for not only making the impossible happen for us, but also for making our everyday wishes come true.
Who would have thought nine years ago that WCIL would have orders from all over the country for our "Please Call Police" banners? Thank you on behalf of each individual whose quality of life was improved because of the orders and donations we received from your readers. The funds generated by the banner project have translated into some vital services and wonderful stories. Here are just a few from last year:
-- Exhausted from the constant caring for his wife who has Alzheimer's disease, Charles H. sought help from WCIL's "Linkages" program. We helped him locate and pay for a personal assistant, so he now has some respite from his wife's care.
-- Erika didn't want her disability to keep her from being self-sufficient and supporting her son. She completed WCIL's computer training program and now works full-time at Kaiser Permanente Medical Center.
-- Juan G.'s motorized wheelchair broke down just two weeks after he had become employed. WCIL helped him obtain $500 in emergency funding so he could quickly return to work.
-- Anita V. has multiple disabilities and is dependent on disability benefits to survive. When she was threatened with the loss of this funding, WCIL helped her get through the bureaucratic maze and resolve her problem.
-- Steve S. was struggling with chronic pain due to multiple surgeries and degenerative diseases. After receiving peer counseling and training in independent living skills at WCIL, Steve said, "I feel like I've been given back my life."
-- Loraine B. came to WCIL seeking counseling to learn to live with her disability, and also received help in learning how to resolve some problems she was having with her housing providers.
Thank you, Abby, for once again publicizing our "Please Call Police" banner project. I'm sure it will bring many more such stories, and once again, WCIL's mission is to ensure happy endings for all of them. -- MARY ANN JONES, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, WCIL, LOS ANGELES
DEAR MARY ANN: Congratulations for the terrific job you are doing to assist people with disabilities. With the holiday season fast approaching, I'm pleased to remind readers that the "Please Call Police" banners make wonderful stocking-stuffers. They can literally be lifesavers in a roadside emergency. Having them in the glove compartment brings incalculable peace of mind not only to senior citizens, but also to parents of teen-age drivers.
To order, write WCIL-Banners, P.O. Box 92501, Los Angeles, Calif. 90009. You will receive one "Please Call Police" banner as a premium for a $5 contribution to WCIL, and another banner with each additional $4 contribution. (Please send an additional $1 per order for postage and handling.) Many people order two, one for the windshield and one for the rear window -- so the message is visible to cars going both directions.
Checks or money orders (U.S. funds only, please) should be made payable to WCIL-Banners. Allow eight weeks for delivery.
The Westside Center for Independent Living is a not-for-profit organization that helps people with disabilities to live independently.
Tacky Shower Invitations Get Response They Deserve
DEAR ABBY: I recently received two invitations that rubbed me the wrong way. Perhaps, in spite of my young age (26), I'm old-fashioned, but I think they were tacky.
The first was from a coworker who is getting married. The invitation was for a paper shower. I assumed that meant the guests should bring paper for games or other activities. Just to be sure, I called the bride-to-be to find out exactly what to bring. Boy, was I shocked! She told me she wanted only money or gift certificates. I was so put off I didn't attend or send a gift.
The other invitation was to a baby shower for a friend of a friend whom I barely know. I'm a fun-loving person and planned to attend until I read the invitation carefully. The shower was being held at an expensive restaurant, and the invitation said, "No host lunch." Abby, I got the impression that I was to bring a gift, pay for my own lunch, then leave. I didn't attend that shower either; however, I did send a gift for which I never received a thank-you or acknowledgment.
I have been the honoree of both a bridal and baby shower. The bridal shower was traditional with food, cake, games and close friends with whom I enjoy spending time. The baby shower was a luncheon, but my hostesses and I picked up the tab. I hope my guests never felt as pressured or insulted as I did when I received the invitations I have described.
Abby, am I overreacting to this, or is it proper for the '90s? -- NOT ATTENDING MANY SHOWERS IN TENNESSEE
DEAR NOT ATTENDING: You are not overreacting. I don't blame you for refusing the invitations. Let your silence speak for you.
DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter about the boy who was causing his neighbor a lot of trouble. Many years ago, I had the same problem. I was at my wit's end and decided, as a last resort, to try to make the boy my friend.
I went out of my way to be kind to him and, on occasion, even asked his advice. The problems quickly came to an end. Surely the neighbor, when gardening, could offer a bouquet of flowers to take to his mother. Wouldn't it be worth the effort to offer friendliness to help a troubled boy? -- A CONCERNED CANADIAN
DEAR CONCERNED CANADIAN: Yes, it would. Leave it to my readers to remind me that compassion is alive and well, and perhaps all that is necessary to turn this youngster around.
Read on:
DEAR ABBY: "Worried Neighbor" was bothered by a boy on her block who throws rocks, etc., but his mother never listens when neighbors complain. Now he comes and stands in front of her house and is always "starting something" with her. Although there was nothing wrong with your advice that she speak to local police or a juvenile investigator or counselor, you might also have pointed out that the mother probably never listens to the boy either, and he may be constantly "bothering" her because he is looking for adult attention. Perhaps if she responded warmly to him, difficult though that may be, there might be a more positive outcome for everyone. -- JUST A THOUGHT IN ARIZONA
DEAR JUST A THOUGHT: No need to point it out; you and many other kind-hearted people did it for me. Thanks to all of you for a refreshing perspective.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Parents' Preplanning Marks Mother's Passing With Grace
DEAR ABBY: My mother recently passed away. She had led a long, happy life and was greatly loved.
Years ago, both my parents had the foresight to preplan and prepay all of their funeral arrangements. All Dad and the family had to do for Mother's service was order the flowers; then we were able to welcome and share condolences with more than 500 guests. It made her funeral a beautiful time of reuniting old friends and family.
Our freedom to share great memories was exactly what Mom and Dad had planned. The arrangements were impressive. Their gift of preplanning and prepaying is something we all should consider doing for our loved ones. -- A LOVING, GRATEFUL DAUGHTER
DEAR DAUGHTER: Please accept my condolences on the death of your beloved mother.
Although it's difficult to contemplate death, facing the fact that no one lives forever and planning ahead can prevent a world of confusion for grieving relatives at a time when they are most vulnerable.
As your letter illustrates, your parents' preplanning was wise, thoughtful, and a godsend during your time of grief.
DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter from the gentleman in Redwood City, warning women to be more careful with their purses while shopping.
While rolling my shopping cart along in my favorite supermarket with my purse resting in the child's seat, I was shocked to see a man's arm reach around from behind me and grab it. I whirled around to see my son grinning at me. He handed me my purse, gave me a big hug and said, "Let that be a lesson to you, Mom!"
Since then, I always loop the strap of my handbag over my arm, rest it in front of me on the child's seat, and never let go of the shopping cart. -- B.J. IN ARKANSAS
DEAR B.J.: That's good advice. Here's another one you might find interesting:
DEAR ABBY: I go shopping with my wife quite often, and when she puts her purse in the shopping cart we use the child safety belt to run through the handles of the purse. The little extra time it takes to put the belt through the handles is nothing, and the belt acts as a deterrent to purse snatching. I hope this bit of information will be helpful. -- ROY A. MCMULLEN, OKLAHOMA CITY
DEAR ROY: Although not all shopping carts are equipped with child safety belts, many are. Thank you for a good suggestion.
DEAR ABBY: Regarding your discussion with "Interested Bystander" about the age a youngster is old enough to go to a public rest room alone, may I share a humorous incident on that subject?
When I was a college student, I worked as a weekend salesman in the boys' department of a local department store.
One day, a woman approached me with a little boy about 4 years old in tow. She asked, "Do you have a rest room someplace? My boy has to go."
"Yes, we do," I replied. "There's a men's room on this floor, but if you want to go with him, there's a ladies' room on the floor below."
"Oh, no thank you," she said. "I went before I left the house." -- GIL RICH, LOS ANGELES
For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)