DEAR ABBY: I must respond to "Want My Privacy in Phoenix," the woman who didn't want her picture taken at family gatherings. My sister was one of those who hated having her picture taken. She said she didn't photograph well. She died suddenly in a car accident nearly 11 years ago. In the scramble to put together a memorial service, the only recent picture of her we could find was a 2-year-old Polaroid. Now, all these years later, all I have of my sister is a scant handful of photos, most of them taken before she turned 20.
I am the photo historian in my family. I also teach people how to preserve their photos in safe scrapbooks. Many of my customers also hate to have their pictures taken. I used to feel the same way. I am a plus-size woman who doesn't look in a lot of mirrors. When I saw an occasional photo of myself, it was always a shock. Did I really look like that? I guess I figured if no one took the pictures, I would "look" better.
One day I realized that I may see myself only occasionally, but my family and friends see me looking like this every day, and they love me anyway. I now make sure that at least one photo is taken of me at every family gathering.
"Want My Privacy" may have more of a vanity problem than a privacy issue. I hope she will stop depriving her family and friends the privilege of remembering her in a realistic way after she is gone. All I have left of my sister are memories. -- PHOTOBUG FROM CONNECTICUT
DEAR PHOTOBUG: I hope "Want My Privacy in Phoenix" sees your letter. Photos of friends and family are precious. They can provide hours of pleasure, as well as moments of quiet reflection. Put your ego aside, step in front of the camera, and keep your pictures current. If nothing else, an annual informal family portrait will be a valuable pictorial history.