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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I am a 20-year-old single mother who met a man on the Internet. He is 35 and has two children. He was separated from his wife until recently.

Things were fine between us until his wife got kicked out of her house and had to move back in with him.

I love him to death and want to be with him, but since he is a new pastor and just got a church, he thinks he should try to work things out with his wife. He still sends me e-mail and tells me that he misses me and things are not going well with his wife, but it hurts me that he's with her instead of me.

Abby, should I stay in contact with him? Sign me, ANGUISHED ANGEL IN THE DESERT

DEAR ANGUISHED ANGEL: People can describe themselves any way they want on the Internet, and tell you anything, but until you meet and get to know them, you have no way of knowing how much is truth and how much is not.

Your "friend" is behaving like neither a divinity student nor a new pastor. If I were a betting woman, I'd wager that he and his wife were never separated, and the story about her having to move back in is an excuse to avoid making a commitment to you.

I suggest you cut your losses now, and look around in the real world for a real man and a real relationship.

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Right or Wrong," who was concerned about whether ornamental pins should be worn on the right or the left side. Although there is no "correct" side on which to wear a pin, it should call attention to the wearer's face. For example, an animal pin should always be worn with the animal facing the wearer's face, so the viewer's eye is drawn toward the face, not the shoulder. -- MASTER JEWELER, BEDFORD, TEXAS

DEAR MASTER JEWELER: Although there may be no correct side on which to place a pin, there certainly are a number of opinions on the subject, each with its own point. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: You told "Right or Wrong" that the left side is the correct side to display a pin. Maybe so, Abby, but logic says otherwise. I make the plastic name tags for our church members, and I position the backings so that the only way to conveniently pin the tag is on the right. Why? Because when greeting a person by shaking hands, we always extend the right hand and our eye naturally looks at the right side of the body. If it's worn on the left side, the tag is not as easily visible. -- HAL WALLIS, DALLAS

DEAR ABBY: I wear my pins on the right side, not the left, as you advised "Right or Wrong" to do. The seat belt in my car crosses my left shoulder and interferes with my pin if I wear it on the left. -- RHONDA IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR ABBY: I just finished the letter about women wearing decorative pins on the left side. I wonder if most women wear them on the left for the same reason that I do: My purse strap goes over my right shoulder, and I don't want it to catch on my pin. -- JAYNE COLLETT, SPRINGFIELD, MO.

DEAR HAL, RHONDA AND JAYNE: To each his or her own, but I don't want to get stuck on the subject of pins.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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