DEAR ABBY: I am in a heartbreaking predicament. I have been married to "Steve" for three years. I knew shortly after the wedding that I had made a mistake. I am not in love with Steve, even though he is a good man. I don't think he loves me either.
About nine months ago, because I was miserable and had sunk into a deep depression, I tried unsuccessfully to end the marriage. Steve and I were separated for about six months.
The problem is my family thinks he is the greatest thing since sliced bread. During our separation, they were closer to him than they were to me. He and I never attended church when we were married, yet when we separated, Steve joined my parents' church and shows up there every time the doors are open. He has everyone convinced, including my family, that he is perfect. In private, he is far from perfect.
After six months of separation, my family convinced me to go back and try again. We have been together for three months, and I'm more miserable than ever. I desperately want out -- to get on with my life -- but I fear I may lose my family. They are convinced I am completely in the wrong.
I used to be an outgoing person, but I am beginning to feel suicidal. I haven't left my home more than 10 times in the last three months. How can I convince my family that I must get out of this marriage? -- MISERABLY MARRIED
DEAR MISERABLY MARRIED: The only person you must convince is yourself, and you have already done that. While your family may be captivated by Steve, it is probably because they think he can make you happy.
It may take time, but when you family sees you blossom into the outgoing woman they once knew (without Steve), they will understand that no matter how much they liked him, Steve was not right for you.