To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
LOCKED CAR, TRUNK AND GARAGE ARE NO CHALLENGE FOR THIEVES
DEAR ABBY: My wife locked her purse in the trunk of her car at the shopping mall before she went inside to walk around with a friend. When she was ready to leave, she opened the trunk to get her purse. It was gone! Both the car and the trunk had been locked, but a thief had opened her locked car and used the release lever to open the trunk.
She never locked the trunk release lever because it was so handy to use. (It was handy for the thief, too.)
Not only were her purse and its contents missing, so was the garage door opener she always left clipped to the visor. However, my wife didn't need it when she arrived home -- because the thief had left the garage door open for her. Our house had also been pilfered!
Many people leave the garage door opener clipped to the visor; it's so convenient. Since my wife had her keys with her, the thief did not get them, but he gained access to the house through the garage. (The thief got our address from the license registration in the glove compartment.) He parked in our garage, closed the door, and loaded the stolen items.
Several lessons can be learned from this incident: Always carry your garage door opener WITH you, as if it were the key to your front door, and install a deadbolt lock between the garage and living area. DO NOT leave the trunk lever unlocked, and if you are going to put your purse in the trunk, do it before you arrive at the shopping mall.
The scariest thing about the incident is that the thief or thieves could still have been in the house when my wife returned.
Please don't use my name. This is a sensitive issue because I had told my wife many times to carry the garage door opener with her, and I should have had the deadbolt installed sooner. -- POORER AND WISER NOW IN WASHINGTON STATE
DEAR POORER AND WISER: Your wife learned a very expensive lesson -- but it could have been far worse. Thank you for reminding my readers that the interior of their cars is vulnerable if a thief is serious about breaking in, and that a garage door opener in the wrong hands is as good as an "open sesame" for Ali Baba and the 40 thieves. (And that's no exaggeration!)
DEAR ABBY: I am writing on behalf of retired people in Florida, many of whom live on Social Security income. Every year we get winter visitors whom we love having, but we all have the same problem.
After the company goes home, we receive larger than usual utility and food bills. Meanwhile, our guests have saved hundreds of dollars in hotel or motel charges.
Taking us out for an occasional dinner doesn't pay our bills! Is there anything wrong with giving the host/hostess $100 or buying them something they need for their home?
Many of us have moved down south to conserve money. We want our friends to visit, but we need for them to contribute financially. Any suggestions, Abby? -- HAPPY IN FLORIDA
DEAR HAPPY: I'm sure that the visiting snowbirds would be pleased to contribute financially -- if they knew up front you could use the money.
The next time you get a call from potential houseguests, speak up and tell them that you'd love to have them -- but you are on a strict budget, and if they wouldn't mind reimbursing you for the extra expenses of their visit, they'd be more than welcome.
DEAR READERS: Do you have a bald friend? (Who hasn't?) If your bookstore doesn't have "Bald Men Always Come Out on Top" by Dave Beswick, ask them to order it (AMA Publishing, St. Augustine, Fla.). It's hilarious and should comfort even the baldest of men. Trust me.
Interested Supervisor May Have More on His Mind Than Work
DEAR ABBY: A supervisor at work has been pursuing me for quite some time. He's consistently offering me projects that we can do together. I feel uncomfortable being alone with him and have turned down these projects. Fortunately, our work circumstances do not force me to see him often. His behavior may pose legal or ethical problems. Others have observed and commented on his interest.
While I enjoy my job, I have an opportunity to relocate, although it may mean a decrease in pay. What is your advice based on this information? -- TOO CLOSE AND PERSONAL IN TEXAS
DEAR TOO CLOSE: I see no reason for you to leave a job you enjoy and take a cut in pay. If this supervisor is attracted to you, that's his problem. If, however, he is doing something overt in his pursuit, then you should be documenting it so that you can register a formal complaint about it with his boss.
DEAR ABBY: Recently you printed a letter about children wearing helmets while participating in sports. I know helmets are useful to prevent childhood injuries, but I think adults should also wear helmets for certain activities.
My husband mows the lawn on a riding mower, and he has often been cut on the head by low branches. He ducks, but not always far enough or fast enough.
One day while I was watching him on the mower, it occurred to me that he might not see a heavy branch behind the leaves and could seriously injure himself. Or he might mow over a depression in the ground, or hit a rock, and the mower could lurch and throw him off -- and he might hit his head on a rock or stump.
I insisted that very day that we shop for a safety helmet. Now he always uses it, and I rest easier knowing that he will not sustain a concussion or serious injury. -- EILEEN DREW, MELBOURNE, FLA.
DEAR EILEEN: Good safety idea, but why stop with those who use a riding mower? Taking it a step further, all workers with any risk of head injury should take precautions -- a roofer could fall off a roof, or a pool man could slip on a wet deck.
DEAR ABBY: I must respond to "Bent Out of Shape in San Francisco." At age 14, I learned how easy it is to warm up a car. However, after 10 years of marriage, I still can't figure out how to warm up my wife.
As for the comparison between woman and machine: My car always starts when I want, does what I want, as often as I want. In return, I keep "her" clean, polished and properly maintained. I never ask "her" to do anything beyond "her" limits. I accept "her" shortcomings as character and style.
I would give my wife's battery a charge if I could find it, but she isn't talking and I'm still looking. -- PROPERLY TUNED AND MAINTAINED, SPRINGFIELD, MO.
DEAR PROPERLY TUNED: Keep looking. Sometimes the search is more fun than the discovery.
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
UNWANTED ATTENTION ON PLANE IS HANDLED BY CHANGING SEATS
DEAR ABBY: I had an unfortunate encounter on an airplane recently, and I'd like to share what I learned.
I was seated in coach, in a window seat, with a woman on the aisle and a middle-aged man in the middle. We chatted briefly about where we had been and our destination. The man was polite and neatly dressed.
After takeoff, I put my seat in a semireclining position so I could nap. The man took out a newspaper and began reading. As he turned the page, his right elbow touched my breast. The first time, I thought since we were in such cramped quarters, it could have been an accident, so I ignored it. When it happened again, I told him in a firm voice not to touch me again -- but he did it a couple more times. Since he had both hands on the newspaper, the lady on the aisle didn't know what was happening. Not until I threatened to smash his ribs with the thick magazine I had rolled up did he stop.
When I mentioned this to the flight attendant, he said I should have called him immediately, and he would have moved me to another seat. I replied that I was not sure what was happening at first, and that we had been told the plane was full. He told me it did not matter -- when in doubt, ask to be moved. They would have found another spot for me.
So, ladies, even if you aren't sure you are sitting next to a sexual predator, call the flight attendant and ask to be moved. I could have lost my cool and bashed that jerk with my magazine. On an airplane, such an act carries a very stiff federal sentence, and I could have been jailed for assault and battery. -- E.T. IN LOS ANGELES
DEAR E.T.: Thank you for a helpful letter. A less assertive individual might have suffered in silence and never found out that the flight attendants could help. Although the majority of us may never have to use the information, it's reassuring to know what to do in a pinch.
DEAR ABBY: As both a businessman and consumer, I find negative signs to be far more offensive than signs that carry positive messages. The attitude signs reflect is often indicative of the attitude of the business as a whole.
In my business, we concentrate on never saying "no" to a customer until all other options have been explored. I publish a telephone directory, and often encounter customers who want preferential treatment in the placement of their ads. I believe it's unfair to give preferential treatment to one customer who is buying the same ad space as someone else. So, we now offer "preferred placement" for a fee. If a customer asks for something as unreasonable as a free ad without reasonable cause, I reply, "I will give you a free ad if you pay for the next three issues in advance."
As a consumer, I am offended by "No shirt, no shoes, no service" signs, and will instead patronize a business with the positive sign, "Shirt and shoes required by state law." I appreciate businesses that say "We accept Visa" instead of "No American Express," or "30-day money-back guarantee with sales receipt" instead of "No returns without receipt."
I wish you had told "Sick of Signs" to put a positive spin on them when it's her turn to make signs. She could even replace the more tattered of the existing signs with positive messages. -- RIC TURLEY, BOULDER, COLO.
DEAR RIC: It's not surprising that your positive philosophy has made your business successful. In this increasingly competitive environment, companies would be wise to take a critical look at what their signs and customer service policies say about them. Both can be very revealing.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)