For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Interested Supervisor May Have More on His Mind Than Work
DEAR ABBY: A supervisor at work has been pursuing me for quite some time. He's consistently offering me projects that we can do together. I feel uncomfortable being alone with him and have turned down these projects. Fortunately, our work circumstances do not force me to see him often. His behavior may pose legal or ethical problems. Others have observed and commented on his interest.
While I enjoy my job, I have an opportunity to relocate, although it may mean a decrease in pay. What is your advice based on this information? -- TOO CLOSE AND PERSONAL IN TEXAS
DEAR TOO CLOSE: I see no reason for you to leave a job you enjoy and take a cut in pay. If this supervisor is attracted to you, that's his problem. If, however, he is doing something overt in his pursuit, then you should be documenting it so that you can register a formal complaint about it with his boss.
DEAR ABBY: Recently you printed a letter about children wearing helmets while participating in sports. I know helmets are useful to prevent childhood injuries, but I think adults should also wear helmets for certain activities.
My husband mows the lawn on a riding mower, and he has often been cut on the head by low branches. He ducks, but not always far enough or fast enough.
One day while I was watching him on the mower, it occurred to me that he might not see a heavy branch behind the leaves and could seriously injure himself. Or he might mow over a depression in the ground, or hit a rock, and the mower could lurch and throw him off -- and he might hit his head on a rock or stump.
I insisted that very day that we shop for a safety helmet. Now he always uses it, and I rest easier knowing that he will not sustain a concussion or serious injury. -- EILEEN DREW, MELBOURNE, FLA.
DEAR EILEEN: Good safety idea, but why stop with those who use a riding mower? Taking it a step further, all workers with any risk of head injury should take precautions -- a roofer could fall off a roof, or a pool man could slip on a wet deck.
DEAR ABBY: I must respond to "Bent Out of Shape in San Francisco." At age 14, I learned how easy it is to warm up a car. However, after 10 years of marriage, I still can't figure out how to warm up my wife.
As for the comparison between woman and machine: My car always starts when I want, does what I want, as often as I want. In return, I keep "her" clean, polished and properly maintained. I never ask "her" to do anything beyond "her" limits. I accept "her" shortcomings as character and style.
I would give my wife's battery a charge if I could find it, but she isn't talking and I'm still looking. -- PROPERLY TUNED AND MAINTAINED, SPRINGFIELD, MO.
DEAR PROPERLY TUNED: Keep looking. Sometimes the search is more fun than the discovery.
UNWANTED ATTENTION ON PLANE IS HANDLED BY CHANGING SEATS
DEAR ABBY: I had an unfortunate encounter on an airplane recently, and I'd like to share what I learned.
I was seated in coach, in a window seat, with a woman on the aisle and a middle-aged man in the middle. We chatted briefly about where we had been and our destination. The man was polite and neatly dressed.
After takeoff, I put my seat in a semireclining position so I could nap. The man took out a newspaper and began reading. As he turned the page, his right elbow touched my breast. The first time, I thought since we were in such cramped quarters, it could have been an accident, so I ignored it. When it happened again, I told him in a firm voice not to touch me again -- but he did it a couple more times. Since he had both hands on the newspaper, the lady on the aisle didn't know what was happening. Not until I threatened to smash his ribs with the thick magazine I had rolled up did he stop.
When I mentioned this to the flight attendant, he said I should have called him immediately, and he would have moved me to another seat. I replied that I was not sure what was happening at first, and that we had been told the plane was full. He told me it did not matter -- when in doubt, ask to be moved. They would have found another spot for me.
So, ladies, even if you aren't sure you are sitting next to a sexual predator, call the flight attendant and ask to be moved. I could have lost my cool and bashed that jerk with my magazine. On an airplane, such an act carries a very stiff federal sentence, and I could have been jailed for assault and battery. -- E.T. IN LOS ANGELES
DEAR E.T.: Thank you for a helpful letter. A less assertive individual might have suffered in silence and never found out that the flight attendants could help. Although the majority of us may never have to use the information, it's reassuring to know what to do in a pinch.
DEAR ABBY: As both a businessman and consumer, I find negative signs to be far more offensive than signs that carry positive messages. The attitude signs reflect is often indicative of the attitude of the business as a whole.
In my business, we concentrate on never saying "no" to a customer until all other options have been explored. I publish a telephone directory, and often encounter customers who want preferential treatment in the placement of their ads. I believe it's unfair to give preferential treatment to one customer who is buying the same ad space as someone else. So, we now offer "preferred placement" for a fee. If a customer asks for something as unreasonable as a free ad without reasonable cause, I reply, "I will give you a free ad if you pay for the next three issues in advance."
As a consumer, I am offended by "No shirt, no shoes, no service" signs, and will instead patronize a business with the positive sign, "Shirt and shoes required by state law." I appreciate businesses that say "We accept Visa" instead of "No American Express," or "30-day money-back guarantee with sales receipt" instead of "No returns without receipt."
I wish you had told "Sick of Signs" to put a positive spin on them when it's her turn to make signs. She could even replace the more tattered of the existing signs with positive messages. -- RIC TURLEY, BOULDER, COLO.
DEAR RIC: It's not surprising that your positive philosophy has made your business successful. In this increasingly competitive environment, companies would be wise to take a critical look at what their signs and customer service policies say about them. Both can be very revealing.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Best Way to Catch a Man Is to Lure With Rod and Reel
DEAR READERS: I recently printed a letter from "Wilting Wallflower in Arizona," a woman who asked me to put out the word to men that the way to attract women is to dance with them.
To my delight, I received this clever rebuttal:
DEAR ABBY: All my life I have loved fishing, as do most other men I know. It is exciting, fun and great exercise. Couples fishing together are so romantic. When I see a woman who can fish with a man, I'm instantly fascinated by her -- and so are my friends.
Why, then, are women who can fish so hard to come by? Women are supposed to be charming, romantic and good companions. Fishing is all of that. Yet most women are "dancers" who say, "I don't fish."
I thought women liked attracting men. I know some people say women are dense. But this fact cannot escape anyone's attention: A woman can attract men by going fishing.
Will you please put out the word for us and tell women how sexy and attractive they are when they're fishing? -- WAITING WITH BAITED HOOK IN NEVADA
DEAR WAITING: I receive letters every day from women who complain about how hard it is to meet men. Women, now you have heard it from the source! Get off the dance floor and onto the lake, river or ocean. You won't even have to take lessons. My experts tell me that fishermen love to tie knots. With the right bait, there's no telling what you might reel in! Trust me.
DEAR ABBY: I am sending you a poem I wrote in 1962 when our twins were born. I thought that since you are a twin, you would appreciate it. -- AL WILLIS, ARLINGTON, TEXAS
DEAR AL: You thought right. I'm printing your poem to be enjoyed by those readers who were also blessed with "double trouble." (Please forgive me, but I can't help but brag that my wonderful son, Edward Jay, and his lovely wife, Leslye, blessed our family with "double trouble" in 1994, a boy and a girl -- the twins are named J.J. and Hutton.)
TWINS ARE DOUBLE TROUBLE
by Al Willis
Twins are double trouble.
They cry, they smash, they tear.
They break and spill and bite and scratch
And pull each other's hair.
They practice art upon the walls
And yank electric plugs.
And cookies, milk and something else
Get ground into the rugs.
They drive their mother crazy,
Their father is berserk,
He's glad when Monday comes around,
So he can go to work.
The diaper pails are filled again;
The laundry tub's piled high.
The doctor bills (and others, too)
Are mounting to the sky.
So if you have a single child
As placid as a dove,
Contain your envy, if you can;
We have a double love.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)