DEAR READERS: I recently printed a letter from "Wilting Wallflower in Arizona," a woman who asked me to put out the word to men that the way to attract women is to dance with them.
To my delight, I received this clever rebuttal:
DEAR ABBY: All my life I have loved fishing, as do most other men I know. It is exciting, fun and great exercise. Couples fishing together are so romantic. When I see a woman who can fish with a man, I'm instantly fascinated by her -- and so are my friends.
Why, then, are women who can fish so hard to come by? Women are supposed to be charming, romantic and good companions. Fishing is all of that. Yet most women are "dancers" who say, "I don't fish."
I thought women liked attracting men. I know some people say women are dense. But this fact cannot escape anyone's attention: A woman can attract men by going fishing.
Will you please put out the word for us and tell women how sexy and attractive they are when they're fishing? -- WAITING WITH BAITED HOOK IN NEVADA
DEAR WAITING: I receive letters every day from women who complain about how hard it is to meet men. Women, now you have heard it from the source! Get off the dance floor and onto the lake, river or ocean. You won't even have to take lessons. My experts tell me that fishermen love to tie knots. With the right bait, there's no telling what you might reel in! Trust me.
DEAR ABBY: I am sending you a poem I wrote in 1962 when our twins were born. I thought that since you are a twin, you would appreciate it. -- AL WILLIS, ARLINGTON, TEXAS
DEAR AL: You thought right. I'm printing your poem to be enjoyed by those readers who were also blessed with "double trouble." (Please forgive me, but I can't help but brag that my wonderful son, Edward Jay, and his lovely wife, Leslye, blessed our family with "double trouble" in 1994, a boy and a girl -- the twins are named J.J. and Hutton.)
TWINS ARE DOUBLE TROUBLE
by Al Willis
Twins are double trouble.
They cry, they smash, they tear.
They break and spill and bite and scratch
And pull each other's hair.
They practice art upon the walls
And yank electric plugs.
And cookies, milk and something else
Get ground into the rugs.
They drive their mother crazy,
Their father is berserk,
He's glad when Monday comes around,
So he can go to work.
The diaper pails are filled again;
The laundry tub's piled high.
The doctor bills (and others, too)
Are mounting to the sky.
So if you have a single child
As placid as a dove,
Contain your envy, if you can;
We have a double love.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600