DEAR ABBY: My 21-year-old son, "Sam," dropped out of college and wanted to paint houses for a living. He needed a car, so I offered to find him painting projects around the house to earn $500 -- partial payment for the car. I paid him more than the going rate and gave him credit for more hours than he worked.
When he came to me and wanted the $500, I reminded him the money was for a car, and he could have it when he found one. (He's getting money from his mother to live on.) He picked up a bar stool and hit me with it, bruising me and breaking the tile countertop. On his way out, he broke a table and a bowl. I deducted $300 for the damages and sent him a check, but he hasn't apologized and says he never wants to see me again.
Should I have called the police and charged Sam with assault and battery to help him see that violence is not the way to settle a dispute? -- A GRIEVING FATHER
DEAR GRIEVING FATHER: Your son has a serious problem controlling his temper. He should have learned by now how to channel his anger and frustration without resorting to violence. I am undecided as to whether or not he was fortunate that you didn't notify the police and press charges.
However, you were also wrong for having agreed to pay Sam for painting your house, then to have withheld the money he earned when he asked for it.