DEAR ABBY: I am 52 years old and consider the term "elderly" as being a synonym for dead! -- JANE ANDERSON, CINCINNATI
'Elderly' Need Not Apply to Those Young at Heart
DEAR READERS: The many responses I received to the question, "How would you define the term 'elderly'?" were wonderful. Permit me to share a few:
DEAR ABBY: I have a definition that has served me well most of my life: Anyone is elderly who is older than I am.
This was confirmed when I heard my dad, who was 84 and in a convalescent home, speak of the "old codger who lives down the hall." He was 87. -- CARL FISHER (AGE 82), WALNUT CREEK, CALIF.
DEAR ABBY: I am 79 and just beginning to think of myself as "elderly." Fifty, to me, is middle age. -- DOROTHY KENT, HENDERSON, NEV.
DEAR ABBY: How would I define elderly? I am reminded of the old joke that went, "I enjoy drinking; HE'S a drunk." I'm an older woman; SHE'S elderly! -- BEA SHAW, TOLUCA LAKE, CALIF.
DEAR ABBY: I don't know a great deal about how ladies view themselves, but to me they are forever young. However, I do know a little about men.
By my reckoning, until age 35, he is an adolescent.
From 35 to 55, he is a young man.
From 55 to 75, he is middle-aged, and anyone who is 75 or older is a senior. -- TOM DANAHER (AGE 71), LAS VEGAS
DEAR ABBY: When you ask someone to define "elderly," you open a can of worms. It is my belief that few people think of themselves as a specific age.
Society seems to want to label each of its members by age, race, religion, etc. Let's forget all that and just live. Elderly is as elderly does. Enjoy life and, as the French say, "Vive la difference!" -- ROBERT L. CASEY, LAS VEGAS
DEAR ABBY: I am 76 and don't consider myself elderly. When I curl my hair, which is naturally a blondish-gray, I have my makeup on, my nails nicely manicured and I'm dressed in a nice outfit, I don't feel or look a day over 55. So I think, "If I were't married, I'd be looking for a live one."
I define elderly as "over the hill." -- STILL KICKING AND ABLE
DEAR ABBY: Being elderly to me is having the dignity to grow older with dignity. -- PEGGY O'NEIL, PUYALLUP, WASH.
DEAR ABBY: Most of us associate "elderly" with those who are older than we are, who have become incapacitated physically or mentally. People our own age may be "senior citizens" -- but NEVER elderly! -- MARION E. GRAFF, LOS ANGELES
DEAR ABBY: "Elderly" is a politically correct euphemism for "old." What's wrong with being old? I am an aging boomer and I want to be as old as possible.
In this baby- and youth-obsessed culture of ours, it's time to shout, "Old is great!" -- MICHAEL PEARCE, PORTLAND, ORE.
DEAR MICHAEL AND READERS: I'll second the motion.
I regret that I am unable to print all of the delightful definitions I've received for "elderly"; however, from time to time, I will share more of them.
Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Alzheimer's Association Helps Families Desperate for Advice
DEAR ABBY: I can't thank you enough for recommending the Alzheimer's Association in your column.
My "Aunt Sadie" was ill and bedridden for several years before she passed away. It was only after her death that our family realized that her husband, "Uncle Harry," was showing symptoms of dementia. The responsibility for his care fell on us, and we didn't know what to do.
I remembered that you said people who need help for someone with Alzheimer's disease or dementia should call the Alzheimer's Association. The executive director of our local chapter was very kind and helpful. He helped us find a place to get my uncle evaluated; it turned out it WAS Alzheimer's disease.
The caseworker who came to assist our family was incredibly sympathetic and supportive. She answered every question and was a consummate professional who really made us feel she cared. She helped us find the right place for Uncle Harry to stay, since he sometimes became very aggressive, and we could no longer care for him ourselves. It was a painful decision, but it was the right thing to do -- for all of us. Uncle Harry passed away a short time later, which was a blessing.
Our experience with the Alzheimer's Association remains a positive memory. Their telephone helpline and support group provided reassurance and helpful information. They helped us sift through the health-care maze to get the services we needed for my uncle, and more than lived up to their slogan, "Someone to Stand by You." -- LAURIE IN LOS ANGELES
DEAR LAURIE: I'm pleased, but not surprised, that your experience with the Alzheimer's Association was so positive. I can't think of a better organization to provide assistance to families who are faced with this emotionally devastating problem.
Alzheimer's disease now affects more than 4 million people in this country, a number that is projected to double by the time the baby boomer generation reaches age 65. It touches nearly every family and affects all of society.
The national Memory Walk sponsored by the Alzheimer's Association will take place Oct. 4 and 5 in more than 200 communities across the United States. It raises money specifically targeted for programs and services to help people with the disease and their families.
Call your local Alzheimer's Association chapter, or 1-800-272-3900 (toll-free), or visit the association's Web site at http.//www.alz.org for more information.
DEAR ABBY: My 4-year-old daughter will be the flower girl in my brother's wedding. Since it is an adult reception, she and the ring bearer are being asked to leave the reception after they have been introduced and eaten dinner.
We spent $70 on her dress and contributed money toward the shower. I cannot believe she is expected to leave before the festivities and, frankly, we can't afford a sitter in addition to all the money we've already spent.
My husband and I have decided to go home with her when it's time for her to leave. Am I overreacting? -- SISTER OF THE GROOM
DEAR SISTER OF THE GROOM: A reasonable compromise has been proposed by the bridal couple. Your daughter and the ring bearer will have a chance to enjoy their dinner, and everyone will get to meet them. There will be no other children there for them to play with, and at their tender ages, they will probably have had enough excitement by then.
A day of joy is not the time to make a personal statement; therefore I would not advise leaving with your daughter. If you can't afford a sitter, consider sharing the cost with the parents of the ring bearer.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Umbilical Cord Blood Can Bring New Life to Others
DEAR ABBY: I am an educator with the Cord Blood Registry, responding to the letter in your column about donors needed for the bone marrow registry.
I would like to tell you and your readers about an amazing opportunity to assist tens of thousands of people in need of stem cells that used to be available only through bone marrow transplants.
Diseases like Hodgkin's lymphoma, sickle cell anemia and leukemia can now be treated with stem cells from umbilical cord blood.
The process of collecting it is painless; however, it must be collected immediately following birth. Umbilical cords are often just discarded. It is a tragedy that expectant parents are rarely made aware of the importance of their child's umbilical cord blood. It can be banked privately for their families, or donated through the International Cord Blood Foundation for use by patients who desperately require a matching transplant.
There are also special programs to help families bank the cord blood should a family member be stricken with an illness that places him or her in serious need of a transplant.
Abby, please urge families who are concerned about saving lives with umbilical cord blood to contact the Cord Blood Registry at 1-888-267-3256 (toll-free) or www.cordblood.com to learn more about banking their cord blood. -- KATIE HEFFELFINGER, CORD BLOOD EDUCATOR, BETHLEHEM, PA.
DEAR MS. HEFFELFINGER: I'm pleased to alert readers to this relatively new therapy, which became available in the late 1980s.
I was fascinated to learn that "cord blood" is the blood that remains in the umbilical cord and placenta after a baby is born. Like bone marrow, it has been found to be a rich source of stem cells -- the building blocks of the blood and immune system. Cord blood may provide treatment advantages over bone marrow, especially when it comes from an immediate family member. Saving it may prove especially significant for ethnic minority patients, and those with a family history of leukemia or cancer.
If the umbilical cord blood from all the deliveries in the United States were stored, successful matches could be found without the long, time-consuming search for a bone marrow donor.
There is no cost for public donation of umbilical cord blood, but the application and testing process must be started at least two months before the delivery. Parents wishing to store their newborn's cord blood for their own potential use can do so for a fee. However, anyone with a family member who already HAS a condition for which stem cells may be a treatment option, can store cord blood at no cost through the Cord Blood Registry's Designated Transplant Program. (For information on this option, call the number listed above.)
DEAR ABBY: I thought you might be interested in the role you played in getting my young son to read. When he was in the elementary grades, I insisted that he read the newspaper every day and find something interesting to discuss with me. Well, it didn't take him very long to find your column, and he shared it with me each day. He is grown now and loves to read your column and many other things as well. Thank you, Dear Abby. -- STELLA LEHNERT, DETROIT
DEAR STELLA: Thank YOU. I have always encouraged young people to hone their reading skills. To learn that I had a part in developing your son's reading habits is gratifying.
For those young people who may have missed my advice on reading, I repeat:
If I could give young people one piece of advice, it would be read, read, read! In reading, you will open up new worlds, real and imagined. Read for information, read for pleasure. Our libraries are filled with knowledge and joy, and it's all there -- free for the taking. The person who DOES NOT read is no better off than the person who CANNOT read.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)