DEAR ABBY: I'm getting married in October, and there is an issue my fiance and I cannot seem to resolve. Our mothers are pulling us in opposite directions.
My mother wants us to open our wedding gifts at the reception. His mother thinks it would be "tacky." My fiance feels it would be a waste of time at the reception, and agrees with his mother that the gifts should be opened the next day at a brunch for the families.
Abby, I come from a very large family. Many of my aunts, uncles and cousins will be traveling long distances to attend our wedding. Most of them have expressed a desire to see us open the gifts, but not all of them would be able to stay another day just for that.
My mother has allowed us to make the decisions on everything else, but she insists that the gifts be opened at the wedding reception. What is the socially correct procedure? -- BRIDE IN OREGON
DEAR BRIDE: Traditionally, gifts are not opened at the reception. It is usually inconvenient for the couple. Even when the reception is small and informal, there is seldom time to open presents and express appropriate gratitude.
If gifts are brought to the wedding and/or reception, the bride and groom should thank the donor and hand the packages to someone assigned to put them in a safe place. This is the only way to avoid losing the card or breaking or losing the gift in the excitement of the festivities.
A brunch the following day, during which the families can see you open the gifts, is a good idea. Consider videotaping the brunch for those who must return home immediately following the reception.