DEAR ABBY: I've been seeing "Fred" for five years and have been in love with him for four. Recently, I left my husband, then Fred and I moved in together.
Everything is perfect except for one flaw. Fred got a girl pregnant. He told me he didn't love her and wanted her to get an abortion, but she thought that he would marry her for the sake of the baby. He claims he told her up front that he didn't love her, but she had the baby anyway. They named him "Sammy."
We have Sammy two days a week. I don't want the child around, but I'm afraid if I tell Fred how I feel, he will leave me. He seems fond of the boy even though he didn't want him in the beginning.
Abby, it's getting harder and harder for me to be civil to this child. I wish Fred would give up his custody rights and just visit his son once in a while.
Fred and I truly love each other, but it is impossible for me to accept Sammy, and I hate it that Fred sees his son's mother when necessary.
Abby, how can I get Fred to give Sammy up? -- UNHAPPY IN UTICA, N.Y.
DEAR UNHAPPY: Fred is trying to be a responsible and loving father regardless of the circumstances of his son's birth -- which is commendable.
It is unfair to both of them for you to attempt to break up this father/son relationship because of your insecurity. And should you succeed, Fred is sure to resent it.
As I see it, you have two choices: Accept the boy and secure Fred's love, or nourish your resentment and risk losing him. If you choose the first option, I urge you to see a counselor and learn to subdue your jealousy and accept little Sammy. Good luck.