DEAR ABBY: Last year, my daughter had a boyfriend living with her, using her car, etc. His favorite excuse was, "I have no money." He also was smart enough not to have any credit cards. My daughter paid for everything, or charged it on her credit cards. Dinners, clothes, concert tickets, his car repairs -- it went on eight months. Then he left town with a good job offer.
My daughter itemized all she had spent on him, which came to about $3,000. Then she sent him the list. He wrote back saying he hadn't asked her for a thing!
Did she learn her lesson? No, she's now in an identical relationship. She's one foolish person, thinking she has to buy men so they'll like her.
I have talked myself blue in the face telling her that she can't afford all this generosity. I know she's responsible for her own actions, but in my day, the man paid for everything. Any hope for her? -- FRUSTRATED MOM IN DENVER
DEAR FRUSTRATED MOM: Times have changed a bit since your day. Today, many couples share expenses instead of the man bearing the entire burden.
Your daughter, however, has some serious self-esteem issues. Playing the role of "sugar momma" may foster dependence, but it won't buy love. She's making an investment that has a notoriously low return. The money would be far better spent on counseling.