For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: I teach fourth grade at Westlake Elementary School in Ventura County, Calif. As a fun assignment, I gave the students the beginning of a list of famous sayings and asked them to provide original endings for each one. Here are some examples of what my students submitted. You may want to share them with your readers. -- LESLY VICK
DEAR LESLY VICK: Indeed I do. Your students deserve an "A" for originality. Read on:
The grass is always greener when you leave the sprinkler on.
A rolling stone plays the guitar.
The grass is always greener when you remember to water it.
A bird in the hand is a real mess.
No news is no newspaper.
It's better to light one candle than to waste electricity.
It's always darkest just before I open my eyes.
You have nothing to fear but homework.
If you can't stand the heat, don't start the fireplace.
If you can't stand the heat, go swimming.
Never put off 'til tomorrow what you should have done yesterday.
A penny saved is nothing in the real world.
The squeaking wheel gets annoying.
We have nothing to fear but our principal.
To err is human. To eat a muskrat is not.
I think, therefore I get a headache.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and someone yells, "Shut up!"
Better to light a candle than to light an explosive.
It's always darkest before 9:30 p.m.
Early to bed and early to rise is first in the bathroom.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a blister.
There is nothing new under the bed.
The grass is always greener when you put manure on it.
Don't count your chickens -- it takes too long!
DEAR ABBY: In reference to "Happily Adopted in Orlando, Fla." This indeed was a remarkable letter.
It is well-organized, well-punctuated and quite correct in every respect. A parse program I have rates it at the eighth- or ninth-grade level. No small achievement for the sixth-grade product of an educational system that for years has been unable to teach young people to tie their shoelaces. -- HAL D. WHITE, IMPRESSED IN UTAH
DEAR MR. WHITE: I'm printing your letter with the hope that "Happily Adopted" will see it and appreciate the compliment. And hats off to "Happily Adopted's" very effective teachers, who seem to have performed their jobs well.
However, not all my readers took "Happily Adopted's" letter at face value. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: There is ABSOLUTELY no way that I can believe that an 11-year-old boy wrote that whiny letter. It is entirely possible that he is being hassled over having two dads, but I just don't buy that an 11-year-old is/was this articulate! I have an 11-year-old, and I've worked with fifth- and sixth-graders for years.
I think one of his "dads" wrote the letter, and the son copied it and sent it to you. Personally, Abby, I think you've been snookered. -- MELISSA IN SACRAMENTO
DEAR MELISSA: You could be right, and if I have been snookered, it wouldn't be the first time.
DEAR ABBY: Donating the organs of a recently deceased loved one should be decided upon well before the time when the loved one is taken by the Lord.
Less than a month ago, my wife of more than 33 years passed away quite unexpectedly from a brain aneurysm at the age of 54. We had shared with our daughter our plans for organ donations, subsequent cremation, and the distribution of our worldly assets. Since the aneurysm took my wife within a few days of the onset, we had very little time to prepare for her death.
When informed of the death by the doctor, I knew I had the duty to proceed as we had agreed, despite my grief. It helped me deal with this untimely, tragic loss.
We were informed at the time of her death that there is a 12-hour window of opportunity during which harvesting the organs is expected to have the best chances for successful transplant. All my wife's organs were used successfully for others. Being a devoted Christian, I know she is well pleased with that result.
I have a cancer condition that may prevent use of my organs, but if they can be used to help someone else, I can only hope for it to occur as I plan. We have a friend who is a kidney recipient, and his life has been mercifully extended because of the transplant.
Abby, we should admit that it is not IF, but WHEN. Every one of us will die. Preparing for our ultimate departure could take very little time when done in advance and should help our survivors in dealing with the grief that will unavoidably follow death.
Planning for disposal of our worldly assets as well as our physical being is the responsible thing to do for those we love, especially when we think of ourselves as good stewards of the resources given to us by the Lord while we are here on Earth. After all, what we should really be focusing upon is being found worthy to be accepted by the Lord after our time here is past. -- DENNIS ROHN, HOODSPORT, WASH.
DEAR MR. ROHN: I offer my sympathy on the sudden loss of your beloved wife. You have stated the issues involved in organ donation about as well as they can be presented. It takes courage and compassion to grant permission for organ donation while suffering the pain of personal loss. However, doing so literally means the difference between life and death for those who are on the waiting lists for vital organs. You and your late wife are to be commended for planning ahead and discussing a topic that many find difficult to talk about.
DEAR ABBY: Jeanne Eccher's letter about her encounter as a 10-year-old girl with former President Harry S. Truman and his kindness to her reminded me of my own encounter with a future president. It was in July 1947, and my family was touring Warner Bros. Studio.
We entered a set of "That Hagen Girl" just prior to the filming of a scene. In the booth of a mock-up drugstore soda fountain was a young Ronald Reagan and a young actress whose name I forgot long ago.
As soon as the scene was finished, Mr. Reagan bounded from the booth to where we stood. He told us about the movie and described what it was like being an actor. He signed a "call sheet" for me and was so friendly and solicitous about our enjoying ourselves, that the tour and Mr. Reagan became engraved in my memory.
Although I had voted for some of his Democratic predecessors, when Ronald Reagan ran for president, it was my pleasure to vote for the good man who had been so kind to me when I was 10. -- JAMES A. PRENTICE, M.D., AUSTIN, TEXAS
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Real Heroes Rise to Meet Life's Greatest Challenges
DEAR READERS: Yesterday's column was filled with the names (submitted by my readers) of individuals who managed to succeed against the odds, persevering in the face of life's adversities to become winners. Today's column is a continuation of that list:
-- Have a thalidomide child born with a dwarfed, twisted body without arms, and you have a Terry Wiles, who, with the aid of mechanical devices, learned to play the electric organ, steer a motorboat and paint.
-- Amputate the cancer-ridden leg of a handsome young Canadian, and you have a Terry Fox, who vowed to run on one leg across the whole of Canada to raise a million dollars for cancer research. (Terry was forced to quit halfway when cancer invaded his lungs, but managed to raise about $20 million.)
-- Let a British fighter pilot who lost both legs in an air crash fly again with the RAF, and you have a Douglas Bader, who, with two artificial limbs, was captured by the Germans three times during World War II -- and escaped three times.
-- Blind him, and you have a Ray Charles, George Shearing, Stevie Wonder, Tom Sullivan, Alec Templeton or Hal Krents.
-- Label him "too stupid to learn," and you have a Thomas Edison.
-- Make him a "hopeless" alcoholic, and you have Bill Wilson, founder of Alcoholics Anonymous.
-- Tell her she's too old to start painting at 80, and you have a Grandma Moses.
-- Afflict him with periods of depression so severe that he cut off his own ear, and you have a Vincent Van Gogh.
-- Your list would not be complete without a smiling Max Cleland, who lost both legs and an arm in Vietnam and formerly headed the Veterans Administration in Washington, D.C. He is now serving as a Democratic U.S. senator from Georgia.
-- Don't forget Patricia Neal, the fine actress who suffered a severe stroke, but rehabilitated herself against overwhelming odds.
-- Blind him at age 44, and you have John Milton, who, 16 years later, wrote "Paradise Lost."
-- Call him dull and hopeless and flunk him in the sixth grade, and you have a Winston Churchill.
-- Punish her with poverty and prejudice, and she may survive to become another Golda Meir.
-- Pit her against sexual discrimination, and you have a Madame Curie.
-- Tell a young boy who loved to sketch and draw that he has no talent, and you have a Walt Disney.
-- Take a crippled child whose only home he ever knew was an orphanage, and you have a James E. West, who became the first chief executive of the Boy Scouts of America.
-- Rate him as "mediocre" in chemistry, and you have a Louis Pasteur.
-- Deny a child the ability to see, hear and speak, and you have a Helen Keller.
-- Make him a second fiddle in an obscure South American orchestra, and you have a Toscanini.
Not all disabilities are visible. And not all who have won against the odds are well-known celebrities.
Every family has its own heroes and heroines for whom there is no medal distinguished enough to reward them for their accomplishments.
It is to you, whose names do not appear here but deserve to, that I dedicate this column.
Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.