Everybody has a problem. What's yours? Get it off your chest by writing to Dear Abby, P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069. For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped, self-addressed envelope.
Real Heroes Rise to Meet Life's Greatest Challenges
DEAR READERS: Yesterday's column was filled with the names (submitted by my readers) of individuals who managed to succeed against the odds, persevering in the face of life's adversities to become winners. Today's column is a continuation of that list:
-- Have a thalidomide child born with a dwarfed, twisted body without arms, and you have a Terry Wiles, who, with the aid of mechanical devices, learned to play the electric organ, steer a motorboat and paint.
-- Amputate the cancer-ridden leg of a handsome young Canadian, and you have a Terry Fox, who vowed to run on one leg across the whole of Canada to raise a million dollars for cancer research. (Terry was forced to quit halfway when cancer invaded his lungs, but managed to raise about $20 million.)
-- Let a British fighter pilot who lost both legs in an air crash fly again with the RAF, and you have a Douglas Bader, who, with two artificial limbs, was captured by the Germans three times during World War II -- and escaped three times.
-- Blind him, and you have a Ray Charles, George Shearing, Stevie Wonder, Tom Sullivan, Alec Templeton or Hal Krents.
-- Label him "too stupid to learn," and you have a Thomas Edison.
-- Make him a "hopeless" alcoholic, and you have Bill Wilson, founder of Alcoholics Anonymous.
-- Tell her she's too old to start painting at 80, and you have a Grandma Moses.
-- Afflict him with periods of depression so severe that he cut off his own ear, and you have a Vincent Van Gogh.
-- Your list would not be complete without a smiling Max Cleland, who lost both legs and an arm in Vietnam and formerly headed the Veterans Administration in Washington, D.C. He is now serving as a Democratic U.S. senator from Georgia.
-- Don't forget Patricia Neal, the fine actress who suffered a severe stroke, but rehabilitated herself against overwhelming odds.
-- Blind him at age 44, and you have John Milton, who, 16 years later, wrote "Paradise Lost."
-- Call him dull and hopeless and flunk him in the sixth grade, and you have a Winston Churchill.
-- Punish her with poverty and prejudice, and she may survive to become another Golda Meir.
-- Pit her against sexual discrimination, and you have a Madame Curie.
-- Tell a young boy who loved to sketch and draw that he has no talent, and you have a Walt Disney.
-- Take a crippled child whose only home he ever knew was an orphanage, and you have a James E. West, who became the first chief executive of the Boy Scouts of America.
-- Rate him as "mediocre" in chemistry, and you have a Louis Pasteur.
-- Deny a child the ability to see, hear and speak, and you have a Helen Keller.
-- Make him a second fiddle in an obscure South American orchestra, and you have a Toscanini.
Not all disabilities are visible. And not all who have won against the odds are well-known celebrities.
Every family has its own heroes and heroines for whom there is no medal distinguished enough to reward them for their accomplishments.
It is to you, whose names do not appear here but deserve to, that I dedicate this column.
Tales of Overcoming Odds Inspire Others to Succeed
DEAR ABBY: I've kept a column of yours for more than a decade. It dealt with famous people who had overcome life's adversities to become outstanding winners. Mine is so worn, I can barely read parts of it. I tried to make a copy, but it didn't come out very well. Will you please print it again? -- EVELYN McKINNON, EASTPOINTE, MICH.
DEAR EVELYN: The column you're referring to was a two-parter. My readers had submitted names of individuals who managed to succeed against the odds. I think it's well worth repeating. Read on:
DEAR READERS: In a recent column, I shared an item sent by Herman Endler, who, at age 40, suffered a stroke that left him totally disabled. He wrote:
"I wasn't able to get out of bed, but by the grace of God and a surgeon's skill, I made it. At times I was so despondent, I prayed it would all end. Then a friend gave me the enclosed inspirational piece, which I must have read 1,000 times. There were moments when I thought, 'This is it; this is the end.' Then I'd read the message again, and it pulled me through.
"Abby, some of the greatest men and women of our times have been saddled with disabilities and adversities but have managed to overcome them.
"Perhaps somewhere there is someone who is at the end of his or her rope and needs encouragement. Pass this along. It may save a life. It saved mine."
A portion of the inspirational piece:
"Bury him in the snows of Valley Forge, and you have a George Washington.
"Raise him in abject poverty, and you have an Abraham Lincoln.
"Subject him to bitter religious prejudice, and you have a Disraeli."
The response to that column was overwhelming. A distinguished publisher, philanthropist and former U.S. ambassador to Great Britain wrote:
"Dear Abby: Your column, 'From Adversity, Many Find Strength,' is indeed a masterpiece. I am adding it to my personal collection of 'reminders.'
"There are two great sources of inspiration in life, enthusiasm and tragedy, and I have been boxed in by both. But having been boxed in by both, I also recognize that perseverance is the key to escape and satisfaction. Sincerely, Walter Annenberg"
Hundreds of readers submitted additional names for the list of those who had succeeded against the odds. Some contributions:
-- Spit on him, humiliate him, then crucify him and he forgives you, and you have Jesus Christ.
-- Strike him down with infantile paralysis, and he becomes a Franklin D. Roosevelt, the only president of the United States to be elected to four terms.
-- When he is a lad of 3, burn him so severely in a schoolhouse fire that the doctors say he will never walk again, and you have a Glenn Cunningham, who set the world's record in 1934 for running a mile in 4 minutes, 6.8 seconds.
-- Have him or her born black in a society filled with racial discrimination, and you have a Booker T. Washington, Harriet Tubman, Marian Anderson, George Washington Carver or Martin Luther King Jr.
-- Make him the first child to survive in a poor Italian family of 18 children, and you have an Enrico Caruso.
-- Have him born of parents who survived a Nazi concentration camp, paralyze him from the waist down when he is 4, and you have the imcomparable concert violinist Itzhak Perlman.
-- Call a slow learner "retarded" and write him off as ineducable, and you have an Albert Einstein.
(See tomorrow's column for others who have succeeded against the odds.)
Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Old Military Bases Could Give New Service as Jails
DEAR ABBY: From coast to coast we are buying land and building new jails. Also, from coast to coast we are closing our armed forces bases.
During World War II, we had hundreds of German prisoners of war in this country, and we did not build new jails. We put the prisoners on one part of an established military camp and made maintenance men and helpers out of them.
We, the taxpayers, own the land that the bases are on. Many bases have security systems for at least part of the base. There are buildings near most bases where the families of the armed forces lived, and now the families of the prison workers could live there. Have the prisoners keep every piece of equipment, every building and the grounds in perfect condition. Some might even learn a trade.
If there is a natural disaster, go to the nearest base and there is a shelter ready to move into -- the roads, lighting, etc., and all are in top condition and ready. Preparedness is a comforting and wonderful feeling.
Please do not use my name or address. Just sign me ... ANONYMOUS IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR ANONYMOUS: Your idea seems sensible to me. However, there are many reasons why our closed military bases are not being utilized as prisons. Among them are toxic wastes in some locations, substandard buildings, and the fact that landowners in adjacent communities fear it would devalue their property. Also, local governments would prefer to turn the bases into moneymakers to generate more tax revenue.
DEAR ABBY: I am responding to "Fed Up in Huntsville, Ala.," who said that after four years of marriage her 70-year-old husband wants only to eat, sleep and sit.
Abby, this woman is describing the typical symptoms of depression in the elderly, which often goes unnoticed. I have been witness to this in my own family. I tolerated similar behavior in my 73-year-old husband who had already had two heart attacks. One day he cried out in anguish, "Why doesn't God take me right now?" Only then did I realize his "lazy" behavior was not voluntary. We saw a doctor the next day.
My husband is now taking anti-depressants and is so thankful that he feels better. Our active life has resumed, he is once again playing golf, and we are even doing some traveling!
My only regret is that I did not recognize his problems sooner. I am ashamed to admit that I am a registered nurse. I hope my experience will help other senior citizens realize they may need help. -- AN R.N. IN FLORIDA
DEAR R.N.: You have done a great service by writing. When an individual, especially a senior citizen, begins to exhibit unusual behavior, a visit to a physician should be the first order of business.
DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, my 58-year-old husband had a brief affair with his secretary. It was no secret; all the tongues in this little town were wagging a mile a minute.
Once, when I found a motel key in his coat pocket, he had the gall to tell me that he got tired of driving, so he checked into a motel to take a little nap. (Three miles from home!)
Well, last year he had some surgery that left him impotent, and since then, I couldn't ask for a more devoted husband. He sends me flowers, and phones if he knows he's going to be half an hour late. He even takes me on business trips, which he never did before.
Of course, I'm enjoying all this attention, Abby, but in your opinion, why has my husband turned over a new leaf? -- WONDERING
DEAR WONDERING: Probably because there's not much left under the old one. Enjoy your good fortune.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)