DEAR ABBY: After reading the letter in your column signed "Sad Widow in Illinois," I had to respond.
My father died in 1965. My mother was devastated by his unexpected death and was inconsolable. The following May was their anniversary, and I wondered what I should do. Sending Mother a card might cause more sadness, but I just couldn't ignore that very special day.
A friend told me that when her mother's first anniversary had come up after her father's death, she and her siblings did not do anything by way of remembering it. Later, her mother made the remark, "You would think it never happened." And my friend said to me, "Send your mother a card."
So I did as "Sad Widow" suggested. I bought a "thinking of you" card and wrote a letter to my mother, expressing understanding that this was not a happy anniversary, but their marriage was still something to be celebrated.
My mother was deeply appreciative. She called it her "empty anniversary," and thanked me for remembering. My mother died nine days later.
Abby, please remind your readers to remember the surviving spouse on his or her wedding anniversary. It is still a meaningful occasion. -- GRATEFUL JEANNE
DEAR JEANNE: Thank you for your compassionate insight. I wholeheartedly agree with you.