DEAR ABBY: Who says what's "right" when a woman wants to have a formal second wedding? My sister has been married once before. Her wedding was very large and very formal. She is now engaged again to a young man who has never been married.
Her wedding party started out to be six, including the bride and groom. It has now been reduced to four. We will all be dressed in gowns and tuxedos.
This is the late '90s, and we're heading into a new century. My sister feels there is nothing wrong with a second formal wedding as long as it's the first for the groom, and I agree.
If it's the bride's first wedding and the groom's second, no one would comment. But when it's the bride's second and the groom's first, why must it be small and informal? Shouldn't it be up to the bride and groom, rather than anyone else?
My sister's wedding will be small, with a few friends and the immediate family, but some of the traditions will be included, such as throwing the bridal bouquet, first dance, dollar dance, photographs, father-daughter dance, etc.
What are your thoughts on this? -- FORMAL OR NOT, BOWDOIN, MAINE
DEAR FORMAL OR NOT: I agree with your sister. Since it is the groom's first wedding, I see no reason why he should be penalized because his bride has been previously married.
The old rules about what is appropriate have relaxed in recent years. It is perfectly acceptable for the couple to have a formal wedding with all the trimmings.
My congratulations and best wishes to the happy couple.