DEAR ABBY: A lover who looks a woman in the eyes and tells her how beautiful she is and how much he loves her is a good lover. But what really makes it or breaks it, in my opinion, is if after all the afterglow fades -- can you talk to each other? I am only 28 years old, but I am sophisticated enough to know that sex is only a bonus. A good friendship is a lifetime commitment. I have a man who talks with me. We have a wonderful sex life, but it has more to do with how happy we are -- not how technically proficient we are. Abby, feel free to edit this and you are welcome to print my name. I want my Edward to know that he's a good lover because he cares. -- NORMA JEAN BARON, PLAINSBORO, N.J.