DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading the letter from "Hurting in Cincinnati," and I think you missed the boat in your reply.
Nosy questions like "How much do you weigh?" don't deserve answers. The flight attendant should simply flash her brightest smile and say, "Wow! That's really a personal question!" then change the subject entirely, i.e.: "Would you like a magazine?"
Questions such as, "When are you due?" and "How much longer do you have before you go on maternity leave?" can be answered with humor by replying, "Probably nine months after we decide to start a family!" with a smile and a chuckle. She can then ask the passenger, "Do you have children?" and change the subject.
As a woman who is overweight and has a sensitive nature, I have had to deal with my share of these questions. A smile and a sense of humor have helped me through most of them. "Hurting in Cincinnati" should remember that everyone has problems. Some are just more visible than others.
Abby, people with a weight problem know they should see a physician. They know they should consider an exercise program and see a dietitian. But knowledge and action are two different things. Ask any smoker, drug user, alcoholic or gambler. Bribing us, shaming us, taunting us and humiliating us will not work. When we're truly ready to seek help, we will. Sign me ... A LOVELY PERSONALITY IN FORT COLLINS, COLO.
DEAR LOVELY PERSONALITY: Thank you for an excellent letter, one of many I received from overweight individuals who have accepted themselves as they are, and who disagreed with my answer. (Some accused me of being fat phobic, and that may be true because it has only been with discipline and conscious effort that I've been able to maintain a consistent dress size for most of my adult life.) However, the reason uppermost in my mind when I advised the flight attendant to regard the questions about her being pregnant as a wake-up call was the fact that her employment could depend upon controlling her weight.