DEAR ABBY: We are a military family and don't plan to stay in this area. Four months ago, our 2 1/2-year-old son died after a 19-month battle with kidney tumors. The idea of burying him and later leaving him here was unthinkable, so we chose to have him cremated. Because we wanted to make his urn personal, but didn't have much money, we used a bronze box urn and placed it inside a large Winnie-the-Pooh, Joshua's favorite cartoon character, that now sits on Joshua's bed.
Keeping our son's ashes in the house doesn't mean we can't love our other children (No. 2 is due in four months). Likewise, the widow probably still loves her late husband, but that doesn't mean she can't also love the man who wrote to you. He should respect the relationship she once had and not be so threatened. -- ERIN IN TUSTIN, CALIF.