What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
OPEN YOUR HEART AND HOME TO PET FROM ANIMAL SHELTER
DEAR ABBY: This year the Pet Adoptathon '97 -- that lifesaving spring weekend when animal organizations join together to find a home for each and every pet in shelters throughout the world -- will take place May 3 and 4. Once again, North Shore Animal League and the Iams Co. are sponsoring this international event in shelters and humane societies throughout the United States, Canada, England and South America.
All participating shelters and North Shore Animal League's most famous adoptees -- Scarlett and her kittens -- issue this urgent plea to animal lovers everywhere: Visit your local Adoptathon shelter on May 3 or 4, and adopt a loving dog, cat, puppy or kitten. You'll receive a free Iams starter kit, which includes pet food as well as literature on responsible pet ownership. But best of all, you'll get a lifetime of companionship and unconditional love from a cute and cuddly furry friend.
For the name of a shelter near you, call the Adoptathon hotline: 1-800-863-4267, Monday through Saturday, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. EDT. You can also visit us at www.iams.com. -- MIKE ARMS, NORTH SHORE ANIMAL LEAGUE, PORT WASHINGTON, N.Y.
DEAR MIKE: The Pet Adoptathon is a worthy program, but I must issue a word of caution:
Readers: Before you rush out to adopt that adorable little pet who is guaranteed to give you boundless love, please take a moment to be sure you are ready to make a commitment that will last for many years.
Pets are wonderful, but they require proper care and attention, and many require training to be the pleasurable companions you may be seeking. If you are ready for this responsibility, get to the shelter early and select the pet who was born to be loved by you!
DEAR ABBY: I am an extremely pampered pet who was deeply offended by the letter written by "Dogged Out in South Carolina," who wondered how to deal with people who treat their pets as members of the family. Please remind her that pets ARE members of the family. According to the dictionary, a pet is "an animal kept for amusement or companionship," or "a person especially loved or indulged." I am sure I speak for all pets when I say that we prefer the second definition.
Perhaps "Dogged Out" should treat the animals she describes as she would other people. Would she allow another person to lick her child's face? Absolutely not! Would she permit a fellow human to push his nose into her dinner plate? I think not. I'm sure she would not hesitate to ask someone not to use a particular piece of furniture. So why should she not make her feelings known to us? Tell us what you want, Lady -- while we are incredibly intelligent, we're not psychic.
My family is wonderful. I have a busy social calendar, plenty of good food, a warm bed (I sleep with the family, under the covers with my head on a pillow, thank you very much), and lots of love and affection. In return, I show them unconditional love and devotion. I provide them with comfort in times of need, keep them amused (they really seem to enjoy tossing my toys and having me retrieve them -- go figure), and make them proud with my charming antics and natural beauty. How many humans give each other that kind of devotion?
My advice to "Dogged Out" is to treat us like the companions we are. We'll all get along much better that way. -- CHLOE, A NEW JERSEY PAMPERED PET
P.S. While I am extremely literate, my owner had to type this for me, as my paws do not reach the keyboard.
DEAR CHLOE: You may be pampered, but you are also well-bred and good-mannered and a credit to responsible canine owners (or should I say family members?) everywhere.
Paternity Suit Fades Away in Light of Paternity Test
DEAR ABBY: I am writing to tell your readers to always consult an attorney when dealing with paternity issues.
Out of the blue, we were hit with a suit to pay support for a child who is 12 years old. The woman listed as the mother was someone my husband had dated for one week. Needless to say, he was stunned. The state wanted back support to the tune of $15,000, plus future support and medical insurance. My husband didn't know what to think, but I was fighting mad. We have a child of our own and another on the way.
I contacted an attorney in the state where the suit had been filed to learn what our rights were. He told us to insist on a paternity test. The state readily agreed (they were sure my husband was the father), and they even paid for the test.
The test was done and we waited. A couple of months later, we received a letter telling us that my husband was not the father, and the lawsuit was dismissed.
We were greatly relieved, but my heart breaks for the child who has been lied to for 12 years about who his father is.
Please urge your readers to insist on a paternity test. Regardless of how it turns out, everyone needs to know the truth. -- PUT TO THE TEST IN PORTLAND, ORE.
DEAR PUT: If a man is asked to support a child he is not sure is his, he should insist on a paternity test. This test is the only way to establish that a man is (or is not) the biological father.
An attorney is always helpful when dealing with paternity issues, but not always necessary. Your physician can refer you to a laboratory that performs paternity (or parentage) testing.
DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are retired senior citizens. We occasionally like to take short trips, and we don't have to answer to anyone or worry about anything when we leave home.
On our recent anniversary (45th), our daughter and her family gave us a housebroken poodle, which they had purchased for themselves two months ago. (They live only two houses from us, so we knew about the dog and thought she was adorable.)
When my daughter gave us the dog, I told her I absolutely did not want the responsibility. I was really upset and made myself quite clear. Well, my wife, just to keep peace in the family, said that she would take care of the dog, so we kept her. And guess who is taking care of her?
Abby, was I wrong about the way I felt -- and still feel? My wife thinks that there wasn't anything wrong with giving us this unexpected gift, but I am about ready to say, "It's either the dog or me!"
Please tell me what you think about this, but do not use my name, initials or location. -- IN THE DOGHOUSE
DEAR IN THE DOGHOUSE: Your wife had no business accepting the dog, knowing that you did not want the responsibility of caring for a pet. Ask your veterinarian if he or she knows a family who would like to adopt your adorable poodle.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
CARELESS DRIVERS TRADE PAINT BY OPENING CAR DOOR TOO FAR
DEAR ABBY: Although I have read your column for many years, I am not sure that this topic has ever been addressed.
Why are people so careless when opening their car doors? I don't know how many times I've witnessed people carelessly opening their car door, only to let it slam into the car next to them. Not only do they leave very noticeable dents on other people's cars, I'm sure they can be damaging their own car doors.
I have taught my two small children never to let the door hit the car next to ours. I'm hopeful this message will make people stop and think the next time they open their car doors.
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. You may use my name. -- LYNDA GOVEDNIK, MINOOKA, ILL.
DEAR LYNDA: People who open the doors to their vehicles, allowing them to strike the cars parked next to them, are thoughtless and inconsiderate. And they rarely expect to be caught. I put them in the same class as shoppers who allow their grocery carts to scrape or "ding" cars in the parking lot. The only consolation is the knowledge that, in most cases, what goes around comes around. But it's small consolation, and never soon enough.
DEAR ABBY: The letters you printed from people sharing memories of President Harry Truman delighted me. May I add my own:
I was 10 years old. It was summer, and I was visiting my aunt and uncle, who happened to live just a mile west of the Truman Library in Independence, Mo. One afternoon they took me for a tour. To top it off, we walked around to the northwest side of the building where the former president's office was.
To our amazement, there he stood with his chauffeur, getting ready to leave in the biggest, shiniest black car I had ever seen. Instead of leaving, he greeted me, told his driver to unlock his office, and invited us inside for a visit! My only regret is that none of us had a camera.
Mr. Truman sat me down with him at his huge desk and told me I reminded him of his daughter, Margaret, because of my long blond hair and blue eyes. I was spellbound, to say the least. Then I noticed his big, black piano, and he asked me if I could play. I told him yes, and he insisted that I play something for him. I told him my favorite piece was the U.S. Marine Corps Hymn because my brother had joined and I had practiced long and hard on it. Mr. Truman said, "Play away!" Believe it or not, I made it through the whole hymn without missing a chord.
Today my husband and I live only 16 miles from Truman's birthplace, Lamar, Mo. I have visited it often and have shown it to every out-of-town visitor we've had.
I will always treasure the memory of one of America's most important men, a U.S. president who made time for an awestruck 10-year-old from southeast Kansas. -- JEANNE ECCHER, LAMAR, MO.
DEAR JEANNE: Thank you for sharing your heartwarming encounter with Harry Truman. And you didn't have to pony up a dime for it. My, how times have changed!
For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)