DEAR ABBY: I am 74 years old and have attended many funerals and memorial services in my lifetime, and I have decided that I do not want one.
When I tell my children this, they just smile and say, "Of course we will have a service for you."
Sometimes the music and sermon are comforting, but for the most part funerals are dreary affairs. Most people attend out of respect for the family. The deceased certainly doesn't know who is there.
Since I feel so strongly about having no service of any kind, don't you think my family should abide by my wishes? -- ANONYMOUS IN OREGON
DEAR ANONYMOUS: Yes, but let's face the facts. Funerals are for the living, and the "star of the show" has no voice in the matter. As Lord Beaverbrook once said, "The only reason I might go to a funeral is to make absolutely sure that person is dead!"
If you are adamant about not wanting a funeral, suggest to your children that instead you would prefer a "celebration of life." These services are increasingly popular, and are usually more cheerful than traditional funerals.