To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
CALL-POLICE BANNERS PROVIDE EXTRA PROTECTION ON THE ROAD
DEAR ABBY: I had intended to order some of those "Please Call Police" banners you mention periodically, but in the past I have procrastinated. This year I made it a New Year's resolution.
Last summer our car broke down on I-81 during a vacation trip. My husband has emphysema. It was hot and humid, and my husband was having trouble breathing. We had no electricity to power his nebulizer, and we were carrying no oxygen with us. We sat by the side of the road for a very long time and no one stopped to help us. We tried reaching 911 or the police on our CB radio with no luck. Seeing no other alternative, I got out of our car and started walking for help. My husband was so scared, Abby. When I left him in the car he didn't think he would see me again.
I finally managed to stop a truck on an off-ramp, and the driver was considerate enough to take me to a gas station where I could use a phone to call for assistance. All the police were busy, but they did summon a wrecker who came for us and took us to a garage, where we called a sister to come and pick us up.
Please print the ordering information for the banners again. I want to order two -- one for the front and one for the rear window of our car. We want to be independent again. As it stands, a relative either accompanies us or follows us to our destination when we go out of town. -- MRS. G.E. BEARD JR., LEXINGTON, VA.
DEAR MRS. BEARD: I'm pleased that your frightening experience had a happy ending. And thank you for sharing your story so that I can remind my readers to order the "Please Call Police" banners, which can literally be lifesavers in a roadside emergency.
To order, write WCIL-Banners, P.O. Box 91501, Los Angeles, Calif. 90009. You will receive one PLEASE CALL POLICE banner as a premium for a $5 contribution to WCIL, and another banner with each additional $4 contribution. (Like you, Mrs. Beard, many people order two, one for the windshield and one for the rear window -- so it can be seen "coming and going.")
Checks or money orders (U.S. funds only, please) should be made payable to WCIL-Banners. Allow eight weeks for delivery. The Westside Center for Independent Living is a not-for-profit organization that helps disabled people live independently.
DEAR ABBY: I need your opinion: Recently, while watching "Baywatch," I saw a scene where two male actors were sitting at a beachside restaurant watching the bikini-clad ladies walking by. I think of myself as normal -- and I mentally placed myself there with them.
I mentioned this to my wife who was present, and she lit into me, saying, "Men looking at bikinis are only evaluating the women toward having sex." (Actually, she was a bit more crude.)
I didn't argue, but I resented the guilt trip she tried to put on me. I am over 60, still virile, and the father of three beautiful daughters who grew up unabashed by nudity. I enjoy looking at good-looking women of all ages, and seldom did I have a prurient thought unless I had a good reason.
Abby, in your opinion, is it wrong for a man to enjoy "girl watching"? -- INTERESTED IN TEXAS
DEAR INTERESTED: I subscribe to the old adage "You can't blame a man for looking" -- as long as he doesn't drool.
Restaurant Tea Drinker Wants Two for You and Two for Me
DEAR ABBY: This problem may sound inconsequential, but it sure is annoying. In fact, I am steaming. I want a second tea bag!
Whenever we eat out, my wife orders coffee and I order tea. Usually the coffee and tea cost the same, so why is it that the servers come around with big pots of fresh coffee, endlessly refilling my wife's cup for free, yet when I ask for a refill, I only get more hot water? When I ask for a new tea bag, I'm almost always told, "I'll have to charge you for a new cup." Abby, if you've ever had to reuse a tea bag, you know that it makes a weak, disgusting cup of tea.
A box of 100 tea bags is, at most, $4.50 in a supermarket; presumably, restaurants buy in bulk and pay less. That means a cup of tea costs them less than 5 cents (there's no point in including the cost of water and heating, since that's also done for free coffee refills).
Considering that restaurants charge anywhere from 85 cents to $1.10 for a cup of tea, I would hope that they could shell out four whole pennies for another tea bag for their customers -- customers who certainly order more than just tea, and leave a tip besides.
Abby, since your column is read daily in restaurants and diners across America and Canada, perhaps you can help me and thousands of other tea drinkers by printing this:
RESTAURATEURS: If you're going to be generous enough to offer a second cup of coffee free (and a third and a fourth), kindly treat your hot-tea drinkers with the same generosity. -- TEA-ED OFF IN NEW YORK
DEAR TEA-ED OFF: What kind of establishments are you patronizing? I checked with two national chains -- Denny's and Howard Johnson's -- and was told that they will give a free second tea bag upon request. If a server gave an answer like the one you received, I'd ask to talk to the manager. And if the manager didn't overrule the server, I'd make it plain -- in the friendliest and most polite vernacular -- why that restaurant wouldn't be getting any more of my business. Refusing to give a patron a second tea bag is a foolish economy, considering the cost of poor public relations.
DEAR ABBY: I have read with interest the letters in your column about providing condoms to youth in high schools to protect them from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. I am reminded of something that happened during World War II.
A company of young U.S. infantry soldiers was preparing to invade a Pacific island. Our company was assembled on the upper deck of our ship, and we were told we would have to wade ashore under enemy fire. All of our personal belongings except our battle gear were put in duffel bags for storage. Our sergeant then gave each man a cellophane-wrapped package. Much to our surprise, each package contained four condoms! You can imagine the comments that were made about what kind of invasion this was to be!
However, our speculations were short-lived because we were told to roll our socks and put one in each condom and tie the end so that water could not get in. Of course, we immediately understood the importance of this command. Since the infantry travels on its feet, it was mandatory that we put dry socks on at the first opportunity after getting ashore.
No doubt some high-ranking "dog-face" in the Pentagon thought of this detail, and we owe him a debt of gratitude. -- JIM ISBELL, FORT WORTH, TEXAS
Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Man's Reluctance to Marry Is Breaking Fiancee's Heart
DEAR ABBY: Six years ago, I met a man who seemed to adore me. We fell in love, he gave me a ring, we talked marriage and bought a beautiful home together. Sounds great, doesn't it? Here's the problem: We're not married yet!
I waited four years for him to set a date. He never did, so I finally got up enough nerve to ask him. He replied that he was "nervous" about the thought of marriage. I felt emotionally abandoned by his reply. Since that time, my self-esteem has almost disappeared.
Friends, family and co-workers ask me (especially around Valentine's Day), "When are you two getting married?" I joke and say, "Don't get so worked up -- it's only a piece of paper," but my heart feels like it's breaking because I know marriage is the ultimate commitment of love, and I can't bear to tell them the truth. (I'm good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to marry.)
I still love this man with all my heart, although I know I will probably go to my grave without a wedding band or the children that I long to have.
Abby, please tell your readers who are considering living with their lovers to wait until after the wedding. -- SETTLED FOR LESS
DEAR SETTLED FOR LESS: I'm printing your message in its entirety, although your signature says it all.
You are long overdue in re-evaluating your priorities. A wedding band and children are a lot to give up for a piece of real estate and a boyfriend who can't make a serious commitment.
Perhaps soon you'll reclaim your self-esteem and present your roommate with an ultimatum. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Trust me.
DEAR ABBY: Last Nov. 11, when we celebrated Veterans Day, I was asked why veterans used to stand facing east at 11 a.m. for two minutes of silence. The only answer I could find was "east is the direction of Europe."
Do you have any background information on this tradition? -- MARK H. GRAMS, DODGE COUNTY VETERANS SERVICE OFFICE, JUNEAU, WIS.
DEAR MARK: Your research was correct. The armistice that ended World War I was signed on Nov. 11, 1918, near Paris, France. Although it was signed at 5 a.m. in a railroad car in the forest of Compiegne north of Paris, the hostilities were not formally ended until 11 a.m.
The custom of facing east was a tribute to the 10 million military personnel who died and the 20 million who were wounded. Tragically, at least 5 million civilians were lost to starvation and disease during that devastating war.
DEAR ABBY: I laughed out loud when I saw the recent item in your column about errors in church bulletins. I thought you might get a chuckle out of the typographical error that occurred in our church calendar.
"BURNING BOWL SERVICE: Jan. 5, 2 p.m. During the burning bowel service you are given the opportunity to let go and release anything unwanted in your life." -- JANE BARNETT, FORT COLLINS, COLO.
DEAR JANE: I'll bet the church was flooded with laughter.
For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No. 1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)