Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
GRASSROOTS LITERACY PROJECT SPROUTS MANY NEW CHAPTERS
DEAR ABBY: I am the father you mentioned who loved reading aloud to my children so much that I started Rolling Readers. It is now California's largest nonprofit children's literacy organization. We were proud to see the letter from Miss Mary Ann detailing her joy as a volunteer reading to her "story children" each week, and the satisfaction she receives when she gives them new books three times a year during our "book giveaways."
The response from Dear Abby readers across the United States and Canada has been unbelievable. We have received more than 10,000 calls and letters from people who wish to volunteer, and individuals and groups who are eager to start a local chapter of Rolling Readers in their communities. Already chapters are forming in St. Louis, Phoenix, Las Vegas, Tampa, New York, Chicago, and dozens of smaller communities.
Reading aloud to youngsters is such a simple yet profound way to share our love of books and reading. Over the years we have been inspired by the quality of volunteers willing to spend an hour each week helping to create "reading and caring communities." They include socially conscious high school students, police detectives, judges, retirees and homemakers. They share our alarm that there is a crisis in our country.
For 30 years our society has grown increasingly less literate, with the biggest decline occurring in those needy children already struggling near the bottom. These Rolling Readers understand that this crisis needs to be solved in a typically American fashion -- individually, by thousands of concerned citizens willing to give of their time to make a difference in the lives of these children.
Abby, thank you for spreading this important message. We would also like to thank the thousands of your readers who have sent letters or called to volunteer. Together we are creating "reading and caring communities" across the country. After all, a love of children and a love of books go hand in hand. -- ROBERT CONDON, ROLLING READERS USA
DEAR MR. CONDON: I'm delighted that your worthwhile organization struck such a responsive chord with my readers. America's most precious resource is our children, and literacy is the first step in preparing them to lead productive lives. I wish you and your dedicated volunteers continued success in this important effort.
DEAR ABBY: Often, when my husband and I are in a conversation with another couple, something happens that really "bugs" me. The other couple both start talking at once, the woman to me and the man to my husband. It's impossible to listen to both and I have to choose.
Obviously, if I listen to the man I'll be rude to the woman. Sometimes I'm more interested in the conversation the man and my husband are having. What can I do? I feel like throwing up my hands and leaving the room. What could I say? -- FRUSTRATED IN CANADA
DEAR FRUSTRATED: The next time it happens, smile at the woman and say, "Just a moment, if you don't mind; I'd like to hear this ..."
CONFIDENTIAL TO MY IRISH FRIENDS: On this St. Patrick's Day, may I extend this Irish blessing to you:
May you never forget
What is worth remembering
Or remember what is best forgotten.
P.S. Have a joyous St. Patrick's Day. If you're drinking, don't drive. And if you're driving, don't drink.
SENIORS TAKING MANY DRUGS MAY BE AT RISK FOR ADDICTION
DEAR ABBY: My mother is a drug addict. Now, before you picture a swinging party animal, you need to know that she is 80 years old.
Mother is addicted to narcotics prescribed by a specialist in geriatric medicine. The drugs are not very effective in reducing her aches and pains (she says), so she takes more than the prescribed dosage. As this point, I'm not sure when she is truly in pain or just needs "a fix."
Her friends try to help by giving her some of their prescription drugs, so she's combining pills with no knowledge of the hazardous side effects and the danger of overdose. Her doctor is not aware of the amount of drugs my mother is taking.
Abby, I am hearing more and more about elderly people being overmedicated by their doctors, and I am appalled! Senior citizens must be monitored carefully. Some have heart problems, high or low blood pressure, or other serious ailments. They can also have failing memories and may become confused. Consequently, they may take their medications more often and in higher dosages than prescribed. Their equilibrium can be affected, causing falls that produce bruises, broken bones and gashes requiring more pain medication. My mother has already fallen several times.
I don't know what I can do to help her. She's too stubborn to listen to me or change her ways. Abby, it would be a kindness on your part to print this letter as a warning to those who are beginning to fall into this vicious trap.
There is too much pill-taking in this country, legal and illegal. We don't seem to be winning the war on illegal drugs, but perhaps we can do something about the overuse of legal ones, especially by our elders who depend on us to care for them in their "golden" years. -- CONCERNED DAUGHTER
DEAR CONCERNED DAUGHTER: Take it upon yourself to inform your mother's doctor that she has increased dosages on her own and that she's trading medication with others. Her welfare could depend on it.
Insist that she make an appointment with her doctor immediately. Brown-bag all her medications, including over-the-counter drugs, and accompany her to the appointment so both you and she can discuss with the doctor drug interactions and potential dangers from overmedication. Since organs become less efficient at ridding the body of toxins as one ages, a dosage that is appropriate at age 65 or 70 may be too strong at 80.
I was surprised to learn that while citizens over 65 constitute less than 13 percent of our population, they consume roughly one-third of prescription medications. It is estimated that, on average, a senior citizen will fill 15 new prescriptions a year. The potential for becoming addicted is frightening.
It is difficult to know how many seniors abuse medications because many see a number of doctors for a variety of problems, and sometimes fill prescriptions at several pharmacies. Addicted seniors are rarely questioned because we commonly think of "addicts" as younger people who buy their drugs on the street -- not elderly people filling prescriptions at pharmacies.
Geriatric specialists are beginning to explore drug addiction problems among seniors. However, it's important for family members to consider this possibility if their parents or older relatives begin to display symptoms of confusion, depression or changes in behavior, so that doctors and pharmacists can review medical records with an eye toward heading off potential addiction before it can become a destructive "habit."
Abby shares more of her favorite, easy-to-prepare recipes. To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, More Favorite Recipes, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
HUSBAND'S NONSTOP FLIRTING LEAVES HIS WIFE HURTING
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 14 years. Every time my husband and I attend a social function, he leaves me for sometimes hours while he flirts with other women. This flirting includes touching and hugging, and he doesn't seem to care whether I (or their husbands or boyfriends) see what's going on.
He also never introduces me to anyone -- even if I am standing right next to him. I wait for him to introduce me, and when he doesn't, I introduce myself.
Abby, I have told him several times how hurt I am, but he continues this behavior and never apologizes to me. I don't understand why he acts this way, knowing how hurt and embarrassed I am. Others have noticed this and mentioned it to me. I try to laugh it off, but it is affecting our marriage. How can I have romantic feelings for a man who treats me this way? He expects me to jump into bed with him after he has ignored me and flirted with every woman in the place.
Please let me know what you think. I am ... OUT OF IDEAS IN MICHIGAN
DEAR OUT OF IDEAS: You already know that you are married to an insensitive, selfish man who has little regard for your feelings. You do not indicate that you have children, so I assume that you have none -- which baffles me as to why you've tolerated this kind of behavior your entire married life.
I urge you to seek joint marriage counseling. And if he is unwilling to go -- go without him.
DEAR ABBY: I found this little poem about volunteering in The Bulletin of the Athens County (Ohio) Historical Society and Museum. I thought you may want to share it with your readers. I think it is wonderful. The author is unknown. -- BOB BIGLEY, CINCINNATI
DEAR MR. BIGLEY: I think it's wonderful, too -- and well worth sharing with my readers.
VOLUNTEERS
Many will be shocked to find,
When the day of judgment nears,
That there's a special place in Heaven
Set aside for volunteers.
Furnished with big recliners,
Satin couches and footstools,
Where there are no committee chairmen,
No yard sales or rest area coffee to serve,
No library duty or bulletin assembly,
There will be nothing to print and staple,
Not one thing to fold and mail,
Telephone lists will be outlawed.
But a finger snap will bring
Cool drinks and gourmet dinners
And rare treats fit for a king.
You ask, "Who'll serve these privileged few
And work for all they're worth?"
Why, all those who reaped the benefits,
And not once volunteered on Earth.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)