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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I am the happily married mother of two teen-agers.

Something disturbing has happened recently. I find myself attracted to my daughter's boyfriend. He is 19 and I am 46.

I'm no "Mrs. Robinson," and I would never reveal how I feel. When he's here, I behave in nothing but an adult, motherly manner. However, my thoughts and fantasies about him are far from "motherly." This has bothered me for months.

This has never happened before. I know I have to cope with it like anyone else with a secret crush, but I feel like such a fool.

Am I abnormal? Have you ever heard of a mom falling for a kid the age of her children? Please don't make fun of me; I feel silly enough already. And please don't even mention which state this letter came from. -- SMITTEN

DEAR SMITTEN: You are not abnormal, and yes, I have heard of women falling for men the age of their children. I suspect there are many adults (of both sexes) who have found themselves attracted to their children's friends, but would never admit it.

The important consideration is not that you have these feelings, but that you neither reveal nor act on them. As long as your fantasies remain fantasies, they are harmless.

DEAR ABBY: I recently read the letter from "Troubled Tourist," who asked, "Aren't there more options for a single person than cruises that penalize one for traveling alone?" He wanted to travel alone or as part of a group, but pay a single rate and have a private room.

Abby, to give the lowest price to those who are coupled is outrageous! It is akin to saying married is good and single is bad. It is cruel to imply that, when more than 75 million people are divorced, widowed or never married.

I can afford to pay for a cruise, and can afford to travel to Europe alone, but in this couples' world, it is still sometimes painful. I refuse to pay that exorbitantly higher rip-off price for traveling alone! It's time travel agents and hotels wised up and realized they are losing a tremendous amount of business. If condominiums and apartment buildings can accommodate the needs of singles, then so can cruise ships and hotels. -- ELEANOR CARLSON, ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

DEAR ELEANOR: Meeting the needs of the single traveler may be an idea whose time has come. Many travel agents wrote to offer roommates, singles cruises and discounted rates to "Troubled Tourist," but that was not his question. Perhaps the answer to traveling alone inexpensively is to check several travel sources and plan creatively. Bon voyage!

DEAR ABBY: What is the advantage, and to whom, of an envelope with a window in it?

Half the time, I get my reply in backward, and I'm sure that my wasted time is typical. Who benefits? -- GERALD STROHM, FRESNO, CALIF.

DEAR GERALD: You do. It takes only a moment to ensure that your reply is placed in the envelope correctly. It would take more time to address an envelope. With a window envelope, there is no chance of making an error in the name and address.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby's "Keepers," P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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