DEAR ABBY: I must take issue with your answer to "Looking for Friends," the boring woman who did not know how to make friends. I think she needs an evaluation for depression, if it has not already been done, as part of her insomnia workup.
In my many years of practicing internal medicine, I have found that when I think a patient is boring (i.e., the inability to make small talk, and no sense of humor), the underlying problem is often depression. At times, the state of depression has been lifelong and the patient has no idea how to interact normally with other people. These same patients often seem angry and impatient, and my staff dreads dealing with them. Just like "Looking for Friends," they suffer from sleeping problems, a lack of "fun" and isolation.
The difference after medical treatment for depression is stunning. Their co-workers, and my staff, are amazed by their newfound ability to smile and make eye contact on casual greeting. They laugh easily and find conversation a pleasure. Even their appearance changes from drab clothing and a protective posture to bright accessories and an easy stance. Only then do they have the interest, the motivation and energy to view the world around them with curiosity, and pursue interests that will connect them with other people.
Abby, please advise this young woman to speak with her doctor or a mental health professional. -- JUDITH A. PALEY, M.D., DENVER
DEAR DR. PALEY: Thank you for offering your professional expertise. While I'm uncertain whether there is a connection between social ineptitude and depression, it could do no harm to have an evaluation -- particularly if the payoff is as profound as you describe. Readers, please take note.