DEAR ABBY: Your advice to "Good Old Dad," the father whose daughters bypassed him and talked only to their mother, was exactly right. I would like to add my own experience:
I am the oldest daughter of eight children. When any of us called home and my dad answered the phone, he would barely say, "Hello, how are you?" before passing the phone to my mother. When we visited, he'd sit and watch the ballgame while we talked with Mom and filled her in on all our news. If we became too loud, he'd comment on our "yakking," just like "Good Old Dad." Although we loved him, we were never able to have a meaningful conversation with our father.
Then about 10 years ago, my mother convinced Dad -- against his better judgment -- to take a course in self-awareness. I received a phone call from him shortly after he completed the course, and we actually talked for about 10 minutes! He asked me questions, listened to my answers and spoke about himself. When I hung up the phone, tears were streaming down my face. My husband couldn't believe it was my father I had been talking to.
After that, Dad made it a point to call all of his children and ask how they were doing. He also spent a little time with us when we visited. We grew much closer and discovered we really enjoyed each other's company.
Dad passed away a few years ago, and I am so grateful to him for reaching out so we could have some time together before it was too late. Abby, please tell "Good Old Dad" that his daughters are dying to be close to him. He should call them at home or take them to lunch and build a relationship with them outside the mother-daughter loop. It may be a little awkward at first, but it will be well worth it. -- KAREN CLARK, HOLLAND, PA.
DEAR KAREN: Yours is an important message. To dads everywhere (and it is usually dads who do this): If this sounds like you, please take the time and get to know your children. You and they will be richer for the experience.