DEAR ABBY: I am a single mom. My two teen-age sons have never had a dad in their lives. They had only me. They don't drink, smoke or do drugs. They don't go out carousing or causing problems in the neighborhood. All this without a father. Let me tell you my parenting philosophy:
-- Give your kids respect and they'll respect you in return.
-- Share your life with your kids and they'll share theirs with you.
-- Listen to your kids and they will listen to you.
-- Provide clear guidelines and values and they will live up to your expectations.
On the other hand, if you:
-- Smoke, drink and do drugs, your kids will do the same.
-- If you get angry and scream, they will imitate you.
-- If you kick the dog, they will kick the cat.
-- If you hit your kids, they'll hit the smaller children.
-- If you disobey the law, your kids will do the same -- and possibly land in jail.
Remember, parents, your kids imitate you. It matters not whether you're single or married: If you do your best to bring up good kids, you won't be disappointed.
I thank the good Lord that he gave me the boys I have. They are blessings beyond compare. -- ALECSANDRA BIHLMAIER, FORT COLLINS, COLO.
DEAR ALECSANDRA: Your sons' greatest blessing was having a mother like you. Your philosophy is commendable. However, despite parents' best efforts, sometimes children choose the low road.
Parents should strive to raise their children with solid values, but they should not beat themselves up if their children are not the shining stars their parents wanted them to be.