DEAR ABBY: I'm addressing my comments to "No Name, Please," the widow whose older gentleman friend is taking advantage of her, living in her house and letting her pay all the bills:
Dear No Name Please: Get that freeloading "gentleman friend" out of your home immediately, before he becomes ill or disabled. If he gets sick, or reaches the point where he needs a lot of personal care and you allow yourself to start taking care of him, you'll be turned into a slave and will probably not receive any recompense for your slavery.
He does not sound in the least like a gentleman to me. He is using you. The fact that he won't pay his share of expenses and will not sign a prenuptial contract says loud and clear that he intends to take you for everything he can get.
Perhaps if he were alone in the world, I might have some sympathy for him, but he has two sons. Whether they like it or not, it is up to them to make arrangements for their father. Do not let the sons talk you into taking care of that freeloader. Whatever they promise could be as unreliable as his promises to share the expenses.
Get him out of the house now! Then, consult with your lawyer about sending him a bill for his share of the expenses for all the time he lived in your house -- including the taxes you paid.
Last but not least, look into getting some protection for your assets by buying long-term health-care insurance. The younger you are, the cheaper the premiums will be. Look carefully at the various insurance plans that are available. Buy coverage that provides a certain amount of money that you can use for care either in your own home or in a nursing home. -- MARGARET G. SMITH, ROSEVILLE, MICH.
DEAR MARGARET: That's straight-from-the-shoulder advice, and I hope that "No Name, Please" heeds it. However, she also stated that before she met this man she was so lonely she was climbing the walls, and when he came along he filled a void in her life. Sometimes people are so lonely they will tolerate being used rather than face being alone.