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by Abigail Van Buren

DEAR ABBY: I am a 15-year-old girl with a major problem. This problem has to do with "Sam," my dad's friend. Dad met Sam in a bar about two years ago. Sam is 34 and is drunk most of the time. He hasn't had a job since we've known him.

In the past couple of months, Sam has made passes at me, which makes me very uncomfortable. On many occasions, I've found notes on my bedroom door saying things like, "I'll wait for you forever," and "Before you know it, I'm going to be a part of your family. I will do anything for you," and "Hugs and lots of kisses."

I have told my parents I don't like him, and I hate it when he comes around. All they do is laugh and think it's funny. I tell them I'm serious, and they tell me that I like the "attention."

Abby, I don't like this "attention," and I don't think it is funny. I'm scared that if I don't do something about this, Sam will continue to send me notes, or worse. And he must have followed me, because he has sent me pictures of me in the mall where I go with my friends. I am afraid he'll begin to stalk me or sexually assault me.

How can I get my parents to realize that I don't like Sam and what he's doing is wrong? I know I can't choose my dad's friends, but don't I have a say in who comes into my life? Please help me. I'm very scared. -- QUAKING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR QUAKING: You appear to have more common sense than your parents. If you haven't already done so, start saving Sam's notes and photocopy them. Show them to your parents and tell them Sam is making you very uncomfortable, and you don't want to be around him because you're afraid of him. If they refuse to take you seriously, give the photocopies of the notes to your school counselor, principal or clergyperson, and explain that Sam is a 34-year-old man with a drinking problem.

According to the Los Angeles Police Department, Sam's behavior is considered sexual harassment.

DEAR ABBY: We recently buried my sister-in-law. Because we had a closed-casket funeral, we used a "memory board" on which we posted snapshots and photographs that had been taken of her throughout the years.

As an amateur photographer, I am always the one snapping pictures at family gatherings. Her memory board got me to thinking that when I die there will be very few pictures of me because I take them, but I'm in very few of them.

It would be nice if family members would sometimes offer to take the picture so I could be IN a few snapshots. If they had thought of it, they probably would have enjoyed being behind the camera for a change. Perhaps some of your readers who are always being snapped would trade places with the photographer so there will be photos of every family member -- including the usual photographer. Just sign me ... SHUTTERBUG

DEAR SHUTTERBUG: Cat got your tongue? Why not speak up and ask family members to take the camera and snap a few pictures of YOU at these family events? Ready? Say "cheese" ... and don't blink!

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, Ill. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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